A lot of players have started putting “II”, “III”, or “Jr.” at the end of their names, and I don’t know if I’m supposed to include those things with their name or not. James Ennis was always just James Ennis until this year, when he suddenly became “James Ennis III”. Did he only just realize…
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Cedi Osman 12 Points Full Highlights (2/11/2018)
“Yo, my man,” LeBron said, walking up to Cedi Osman, who was sitting in his locker, and exchanging some dap. “You remember what the plan is for tonight?” Cedi scrunched up his face in thought. “I think so. We’re gonna…we’re gonna ruin Paul Pierce’s jersey retirement!” LeBron smiled. “Damn straight we are. And all those…
Read MoreTerry Rozier 21 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (2/11/2018)
Terry Rozier didn’t so himself any favors in his quest to shoot 40% from the field when he went 1-of-11 in the Celtics’ last game, against the Pacers, but he made up for that headache-inducing shooting performance by shooting exactly 40% from the field in this one, 6-of-15. Remember, 40% is the official line between…
Read MoreReggie Bullock 20 Points Full Highlights (2/11/2018)
OFFICIAL REASONS WHY REGGIE BULLOCK ONLY SCORED TWO POINTS IN THE SECOND HALF POWER RANKINGS: 1. Blake Griffin disrupting team chemistry 2. Stan Van Gundy’s schemes are stupid 3. Hawks organist playing distracting organ ditties nonstop 4. James Ennis stealing Bullock’s minutes 5. Ish Smith isn’t really that great 6. “Weird” tacos eaten before the…
Read MoreBojan Bogdanovic 20 Points Full Highlights (2/11/2018)
I can’t decide if Bojan Bogdanovic is more of a “Crobe” or a “CroBron”. The problem is, he’s not really all that similar to either of those players, but I’m not about to diss him by having his nickname be a comparison to someone crappy like Mitch Richmond or Tom Chambers. Those dudes weren’t crappy,…
Read MoreJonas Valanciunas 21 Points/2 Threes Full Highlights (2/11/2018)
How is Lithuania doing in the Winter Olympics? Are they winning? Do they usually win? I hope they’re winning, if only to make Jonas Valanciunas happy. I admit, I’m paying exactly zero attention to the festivities this year, because I don’t think Ice Basketball is a sport yet, but I just thought I’d ask. Lithuania…
Read MoreDewayne Dedmon Career High 20 Points Full Highlights (2/11/2018)
Dewayne “Judge Dedd” Dedmon might be one of the more underrated players in the league. Now that I’ve said that, he’s probably overrated, but before I had to go and blab, he was putting up solid numbers on a solid contract for a team that sucks whether he’s there or not. That last part doesn’t…
Read MoreDonovan Mitchell 27 Points Full Highlights (2/11/2018)
Making that thumbnail image so zoomed in was a bad idea. I can’t stop looking at it. Have you ever noticed how weird human faces look? Those things are messed up to the max. Max SQUARED. If we ran across an alien race with featured as messed up as the ones we have, we’d never…
Read MoreJoe Ingles Career High 24 Points Full Highlights (2/11/2018)
The Jazz have scraped their way back to .500, having won 9 in a row on the back of a gas-sniffing bogan named Joe “Jingle Balls” Ingles. The 8th seed is well within their grasp now: the two teams right above them, the Clippers and the Pelicans, are suffering from a certain lack of supremely…
Read MoreAlex Abrines 16 Points Full Highlights (2/11/2018)
Astute viewers may notice that this video abruptly ends after the conclusion of the second quarter. That is not an error. Alex Abrines scored 16 points in the first half, then decided he was done for the night, not done as in literally not playing, but done as in not going to shoot to score…
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