Do you want the good news or the bad news first? The good news, of course! Despair is so much easier to handle when it is preceded by joy. Gerald Green scored 26 points! That’s the good news. I’ll save the bad for until you’ve watched the video. Go on. Watch it. I’ll still be…
Read MoreJonas Valanciunas 17 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2014)
Jonas Valanciunas had settled in, as he often did, for a night of TV watching. His head was the only visible part of his body, as he was swathed entirely in a handmade quilt from his native Lithuania. The newly-acquired flat screen TV in front of him was a significant step up from the Soviet…
Read MoreJoe Harris 12 Points/4 Assists Full Highlights (11/15/2014)
Well this messes everything up. I have a very strict system, as you might be able to imagine. After I finish burning an individual highlight video to its own VHS tape, it goes into the “Archivium”, where it is kept in a climate-controlled environment for posterity. It’s actually just a bunch of shelves with fans…
Read MoreShabazz Muhammad 18 Points Full Highlights (11/15/2014)
The scene outside the 10th floor window was dispiriting. The first real snowfall of the year was always the saddest. It had already been too miserable outdoors to have any fun, but the sight of this much snow just drove the point in harder. Sighing, Shabazz turned from the window and flopped down on his…
Read MoreMike Muscala 13 Points/2 Real Blocks Full Highlights (11/15/2014)
Ever since LeBron had his triple-double taken away from him thanks to a misattributed assist, boxscore inaccuracy has been a hot internet topic. It’s not a new thing, but when stuff happens to LeBron, that’s when people realize that the statkeepers pretty much can’t tell their own left butt cheek from a hot ham-n-cheese sandwich….
Read MoreJared Sullinger 19 Points Full Highlights (11/14/2014)
So the Celtics are 3-5 despite having the second-highest-scoring offense in the league. The cause is easily found: they have the second-most-porous defense in the league, negating their smoothly-run offense. Moral of the story: Celtics games are fun to watch because everybody scores a lot of points, and points are fun. Another reason to tune…
Read MoreMario Chalmers 23 Points/11 Assists Full Highlights (11/14/2014)
“Dad, I’m pretty sure this isn’t how they play basketball in the NBA.” Mario’s dad stopped playing defense and looked at his son. “Yes it is. Sure, they use something called a ‘ball’ instead of this seal head, but the idea is the same.” “No, dad. I’m talking about how hard you’re fouling me.” “Rio,…
Read MoreBismack Biyombo 11 Points/10 Rebounds/1 Dunk Full Highlights (11/14/2014)
I have compiled a list of nicknames suitable for Bismack Biyombo. 1. Bustmack Biyombo 2. Bismack Bustombo 3. Bismack Biyombust 4. Bustmack Bustombo 5. Bustmack Biyombust 6. Bismack Bustombust 7. Bustmack Bustombust However, none of them really captures my imagination. They’re all lacking in something…creativity? Panache? Incisiveness? Originality? So I have just come up with…
Read MorePablo Prigioni 13 Points Full Highlights (11/14/2014)
Pablo Prigioni does not make regular appearances in my highlight videos. He was a really good player, once upon a time, and even in his advanced age can do some things. But he doesn’t ever look to score, and DTB doesn’t do assist-only highlights. He can shoot the three well, but only because he chooses…
Read MoreTobias Harris 26 Points Full Highlights (11/14/2014)
It’s easy enough, as a Bucks fan, to forget about that Tobias trade by not watching any teams other than the Bucks. This goes for any team and any trade. Focus all your attention on the perils of your own team, and cast thoughts of unequal deals from your mind. Of course, there is always…
Read More