Aron Baynes AKA The Baynes Bus AKA Masturbaynestion AKA The Big Baynger AKA All of Australia pretty much took advantage of the defensive woes of his similarly-pigmented counterpart, Mason Plumlee, this entire game. If people weren’t finding him on pick and rolls for mammoth dunks or less mammoth layups (“LAMEups”), he would space out and…
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Aron Baynes Career High 21 Points Full Highlights (11/8/2017)
Aron Baynes is already 30????? That’s it. Hype over. I was hyped for him, but now I have been forced to reconsider my hype in the face of new evidence. Evidence which states, unequivocally, that The Baynes Bus has completed 30 full revolutions around the sun since being expelled from his mother’s womb. This fact,…
Read MoreAron Baynes 20 Points Full Highlights (11/14/2016)
Is Aron Baynes, at this very moment, the most ridiculous looking NBA player? His pink-skinned doughy face adorned with a gigantic ginger beard and a tiny little topknot does not scream “normal looking dude” to me. Big beards and small hair-tuft things are en vogue. Someone probably told Baynes that, or he figured it out…
Read MoreAron Baynes Career High 21 Points Full Highlights (3/19/2016)
“That’s it!” Aron Baynes announced as he threw down the paint brush, having just finished painting an image of himself performing a chokeslam on Hulk Hogan. “The Baynes Bus Mk.III is ready to roll!”. He looked around at the interior of his completed creation, smiling broadly. “Ain’t she a beaut? Henry? I SAID, ain’t she…
Read MoreAron Baynes 13 Points Full Highlights (1/23/2016)
“Well, Mr. Baynes, after reviewing your files, I’m afraid that our bank won’t be able to loan you any money for your project.” “Aw, come on man!” Aron Baynes groaned. “‘Baynes Bus’ is a good idea! I already proved it could work, I just need a little cash to get it going again.” The banker…
Read MoreAron Baynes 11 Points Full Highlights (11/30/2015)
Aron Baynes AKA “The Big Baynger” AKA “Masturbaynestion” fills a valuable role for the Pistons: he’s a big man who can hit free throws. This means that Baynes gets to enter the game whenever SVG decides the Drummond’s free throw woes are hurting the team. As a bonus, both Baynes and Drummond have the same…
Read MoreAron Baynes 18 Points Full Highlights (4/3/2015)
That’s two eighteen point games in a row for The Big Baynger. It is time for Australians to forget about Matthew Dellavedova. That guy sucks now. You can also forget about Dante Exum and Joe Ingles. Those guys blow. Andrew Bogut = lame. Australians should direct all of their nationalistic enthusiasm towards the new face…
Read MoreAron Baynes 18 Points Full Highlights – Hail the ELDER GOD! (4/1/2015)
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Read MoreAron Baynes 14 Points Full Highlights (2/19/2015)
Aron Baynes carefully reapplied the Ratt poster to the wall of the bus. “Okay Steve. I think the Baynes Bus is ready to roll again.” Steve, the driver of Aron’s “Baynes Bus”, looked over at the hulking New Zealander. “Man, those posters look gay as hell. Cinderella? Twisted Sister? Winger? What kind of loser would…
Read MoreAron Baynes 15 Points Full Highlights (12/1/2014)
Aron took a swig of his sixth Four Loko. “Henry, why don’t people want to Bayng Out with me on the Baynes Bus? If I were me, I’d drop everything to play Halo with Aron Baynes while chowing on some pepperoni egg rolls.” Henry, the increasingly drunk organizer of the Baynes Bus, hiccuped before answering….
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