This game proves without a doubt that Corey Brewer is a being synthesized out of pure hustle. After the previous night’s game where he scored 23 points and deposited fat loads of his hustle on every corner of the court, he came into this game with plenty of hustle left in his twiglike body and…
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Corey Brewer 23 Points Full Highlights (3/11/2015)
Seventeen points in four minutes? Is that some kind of record? It might be if you forget about T-Mac scoring thirteen in 33 seconds. But this isn’t T-Mac we’re talking about. This is noted crack monster and perennial MEP (Most Emaciated Player) winner Corey Brewer. This is a guy who can score sometimes, but is…
Read MoreCorey Brewer 24 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (3/7/2015)
“Explosion of the Emaciated.” “Clash of the Corpses.” “Skirmish of the Skinny.” “Apocalypse of the Anorexic.” “Terror of the Twigs.” Those are just some of the names that you could reference this game by. For a game between the league’s two skinniest players cannot simply be a “game”. It is something more. Watching Corey Brewer…
Read MoreDonatas Motiejunas 18 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (3/7/2015)
Wish me well, YouTube viewers. I soon will depart in my time machine, as a temporal warrior, to an end unknown. I am making my final preparations; my time-suit is fitted and applied, my affairs have been set in order, and I have a month’s worth of nonperishable food in the form of MREs located…
Read MoreJason Terry 21 Points Full Highlights (3/3/2015)
I used not to be a fan of Jason Terry, during my earlier NBA-watching days. Something about him, I think it was the stupid airplane act he did (still does, god damn it) after hitting a three, just made me want to punch his stupid face. I’ve mellowed a bit, now. You can’t hate on…
Read MoreDonatas Motiejunas 16 Points Full Highlights (3/1/2015)
I’m sure the Houston Rockets don’t have a problem with attendance these days, but I have an idea to spice up the somewhat homogenous basketball action on display: Lithuanian Heritage Night! It’s perfect: Donatas Motiejunas is Lithuanian, a country people don’t know anything about, so it fulfills the dual roles of enlightenment and fun! Replace…
Read MoreTerrence Jones 26 Points Full Highlights (2/27/2015)
What is that I see, gleaming softly in the night? What flighty visions enchant my eyes, soothe my mind, and cleanse my heart? It’s the re-emergence of Terrence Jones! I had almost forgotten about this dude, with Donatas Motiejunas and Josh Smith being the more exciting players at his position. Terrence, has been injured for…
Read MoreDonatas Motiejunas 18 Points Full Highlights (2/25/2015)
To the dismay of Lithuanians everywhere (but mostly in Lithuania), Terrence Jones has come back from his injury to displace Donatas Motiejunas from the starting lineup. However, to the delight of Lithuanians everywhere, Dwight Howard is still out, which means that Donuts still gets to start, albeit at center instead of power forward. So the…
Read MoreCorey Brewer 26 Points Full Highlights (2/21/2015)
Corey Brewer has found a spastic home in Houston, where his non-jumper and hounding defense fit right in with Patrick Beverley. Those first few games with the Rockets where he hit some threes are now revealed to be the illusion we all suspected they were; Corey now binges (then purges) on transition opportunities and stuff…
Read MoreDonatas Motiejunas 21 Points Full Highlights (1/31/2015)
The practicing habits of NBA players are scrutinized heavily in this information-seeking world. Who knows what kind of crappy headline you could write if only you knew of a certain player’s inability to do layup lines? The latest tidbit to come out of the practice gym is that Donatas Motiejunas makes 200 threes after every…
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