Canaansanity is officially in full effect. Officially. This isn’t just some dude on the internet making up stupid words and making sweeping declarations. This is official. With two 15-point games in a row, what’s happening now can’t be anything but. How official? Two words: Adam Silver. He’s been wanting a little more hype in Houston…
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Isaiah Canaan Career High 15 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (4/6/2014)
The point guard situation for the Houston Rockets got pretty screwed up when Patrick Beverley went down due to karma. You expect a little discombobulation whenever a starter dies, and the Rockets do have a starter-quality backup in Jeremy Lin. But Lin’s backup? How does Isaiah Canaan sound? Not very good, I know. He’s the…
Read MoreChandler Parsons 19 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (3/20/2014)
Chandler walked into the locker room after the Rocket’s dominating win over the lowly Timberwolves. He was the only one there, as this was the VIP locker room, only for the best guys on the team. He sensuously took off his shirt, sweat dripping from his perfect muscles. His shorts went next, leaving him clad…
Read MoreDonatas Motiejunas Career High 20 Points Full Highlights (3/20/2014)
There’s apparently a lively, ongoing debate among the Houston Rockets commentator crew which was brought to the fore in tonight’s game. The topic: should Donatas Motiejunas shoot threes or not? There are arguments both ways. D-Mo is definitely capable of three-mo. Though he’s not really effective anywhere other than the corners. On the other hand,…
Read MoreTerrence Jones 30 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (3/17/2014)
So, the Rockets have found their power forward of the future. No, not Donatas Motiejunas. Seriously? Look at the title of the video. Come on man. All they need to reach contender status is a good point guard. I’m not totally sold on Patrick Beverley. And obviously Jeremy Lin is Jeremy Lin. But the combo…
Read MorePatrick Beverley 19 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (3/4/2014)
Remember when Patrick Beverley maliciously and flagrantly injured Russell Westbrook, nearly ending Westbrook’s career? How dare somebody play with defensive intensity all 48 minutes! This isn’t just fun and games; there are superstars’ lives on the line here. Note to Patrick: save the defensive effort only for games that are: 1) within ten points, and…
Read MoreTerrence Jones 22 Points/7 Dunks Full Highlights (3/1/2014)
In this game, Terrence Jones’ first four made baskets were all dunks. I admit that I started getting my hopes up after the third one, thinking that maybe he dunked every one of his ten made field goals. Such an occurrence would have made me whole and completed my life. Ten made baskets, all dunks,…
Read MoreOmri Casspi 16 Points Full Highlights (3/1/2014)
Omri “The Omriscient One” Casspi did not have the greatest month of February ever. In a month where 5 players averaged 30 or above, Casspi averaged around 4. (I say around because my new keyboard has no calculator button and I can’t be arsed to dick around in the start menu to find the actual…
Read MoreJordan Hamilton Rockets Debut 12 Points Full Highlights (2/25/2014)
I can’t blame Rockets fans for wanting to get excited about their new acquisition, but the fact of the matter is that Jordan Hamilton is probably a below-average role player at this point in his career. Here’s a list of things he won’t be giving you: -10 points per game -Savvy playmaking ability -Veteran leadership…
Read MoreJeremy Lin Triple Double 15 Pts/11 Rebs/10 Asts Full Highlights (2/1/2014)
Watch how Jeremy Lin grabs his 10th rebound (the second to last clip). Now that’s dedication to an arbitrary statistical goal! He’s a man on a mission. He knows full well how close he is to the storied trip-dub, and he wants it. Bad. Then look at his reaction after he gets the final assist…
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