Terrence Jones 21 Points Full Highlights (1/28/2014)

I just got on board the Terrence Jones hype train, and damn, this train car is swanky! Leather recliners, personal forty-inch TV’s, this place has it all. It even has blazing-fast gigabit wi-fi so this video only took fifteen seconds to upload. An extremely attractive and large-bosomed attendant just give me a choice of six…

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Chandler Parsons Career High 34 Points/10 Threes Full Highlights (1/24/2014)

Robert Horry’s gonna be pretty sad to find out that Parsons broke his Rockets record of 9 threes in a game. Until he looks at his hands bedecked with championship rings. Rings ease the pain of a lot of stuff, I’d guess. Oh yeah, the record. 10 threes. In a row. Without missing. And it’s…

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Omri Casspi 20 Points Full Highlights (1/22/2014)

Omri Casspi is from Israel. That means there are, in theory, tons of possible avenues for funny descriptions. ZOG conspiracy theories, yarmulke mishaps, pork. These concepts are all ripe for hilarity. But no. I can’t stereotype Jews for fear of being crucified (whoops). Never mind that I stereotype black people ALL THE TIME. And white…

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Omri Casspi 15 Points Full Highlights (1/20/2014)

One of these days Omri Casspi is gonna go off for like 30 points. Even 20 would be cool. Just park him on the three point line and tell him to chuck like crazy. Harden gets to do it. Why not Casspi? And why start Donatas when you can start Casspi, who is better and…

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Donatas Motiejunas 15 Points/3 Threes Full Highlights (1/16/2014)

Donatas “Donuts” Motiejunas is looking a little tubby lately. I know that the lack of playing time can be depressing, but he needs to lay off the snacks and get his heinie into the weight room for some conditioning. There’s only room for one fat seven-footer in the league, and that’s Miroslav Raduljica. Also, I…

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Terrence Jones Career High 25 Points/6 Blocks Full Highlights (1/15/2014)

Terrence Jones just set an NBA record with three botched and-ones in three attempts during the third quarter against the Pelicans. It wouldn’t surprise me if the Rockets commentators brought something like that up during the telecast of the next game. There is a curious fascination with stats in the sports world, and local NBA…

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Jeremy Lin 14 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (12/31/2013)

What will Jeremy Lin’s lasting legacy be in the league? Being the first-ever Asian-American player to make it to the pros? Or the second-ever Harvard player? Or being one of the enduring success stories for the ages, showing what can be accomplished with just hard work and effort after everybody counts you out? No. Thanks…

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Omri Casspi 15 Points Full Highlights (12/29/2013)

Omri Casspi has had a disappointing season so far for the Rockets. They badly needed a replacement for the now-departed Carlos Delfino, and Casspi passed the eye test. He’s foreign, he doesn’t shave often enough, and he can shoot threes. But if you’re gonna follow in the footsteps of the great Delfino, you’re gonna need…

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Terrence Jones 20 Points/2 Blocks Full Highlights (12/26/2013)

“What about you, Terrence? What did you get for Christmas?” Hesitating, Terrence Jones didn’t know how to respond. All of his teammates were swapping notes over their new PS4’s. But he hadn’t gotten a PS4. He had gotten an Xbox One, even though he had confirmed in writing on his wish list that he wanted…

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Omri Casspi 13 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (12/21/2013)

OFFICIAL ISRAELI NBA PLAYERS POWER RANKINGS: 1. Omri Casspi 2. Gal Mekel 3. Amar’e Stoudemire Looking back at all of my power rankings, I think this might be the first one that could be considered “accurate”. There is no joke here. I’m not trying to be funny. Omri Casspi is objectively better than Gel Mekel….

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