Has Jordan Crawford finally turned the corner? There was a period of time when he was one of the worst players in the league, but this year…he might actually be above average. All the difficult, ill-advised shots he takes are going in this year. As much as I would enjoy tearing him a new one,…
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Alec Burks 21 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (12/2/2013)
Now that Alec Burks and Trey Burke are on the same team, we obviously need to come up with a nickname for this tandem. However, since they aren’t yet known for any particular skill (dunking, shooting threes, blocking shots), the only thing we have to go by is their similar names. Here is my list…
Read MoreMarvin Williams 17 Points Full Highlights (11/25/2013)
Marvin Williams was drafted second overall back in 2005. Is the second overall pick the worst possible pick you can have? Because a lot of the players who have been picked at that spot since 2000 have been pretty bad: 2013: Victor Oladipo. Actually looks to be the best player taken in the top ten…
Read MoreSpencer Hawes 28 Points/10 Rebounds/3 Threes Full Highlights (11/20/2013)
I used to think Spencer “The Mullet” Hawes sucked. But Spencer has proved me wrong. For completeness, here is a list of the only other things that I have ever been wrong about in my life: -People will watch Spencer Hawes highlights if you just give them the chance -J.J. Hickson could average 20 and…
Read MoreWes Johnson 16 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2013)
Thanks to the NSA policy of recording everything we do on the internet, I was able to get a copy of Wes Johnson’s most recent Google searches. The NSA really needs to work on their network security; a simple phishing attack aimed at upper-management got me credentials for their entire system. Have they ever heard…
Read MoreO.J. Mayo 16 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (11/2/2013)
Out of all players in the league named after condiments, O.J. Mayo is certainly the best. Let’s go back into the archives to look at other notable players who share that characteristic: Walter Worcestershire: Known by the affectionate knicknames “British Bandit”, “Sure as Shire”, and simply “Walt”, this 70’s-era forward was known for his bruising…
Read MoreTayshaun Prince 15 Points/3 Assists Full Highlights (4/30/2013)
On the continuum of NBA players, I’d put Tayshaun Prince somewhere between “savvy vet” and “glue guy”. His tiny weakling body can no longer hold up to the rigors of scoring a lot of points, so the Grizzlies don’t ask him to score. They only ask him to bring intangibles such as: -Grit and hustle…
Read MoreFrancisco Garcia 18 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (4/27/2013)
Here’s a list of things you didn’t know about Francisco Garcia: -He is probably Mexican -Wait, he’s from the Dominican Republic -But he looks Mexican -When he was traded away from the Kings, he cried tears of joy -When he’s guarding Durant, Durant can’t score -He has ice in his veins -But not really, since…
Read MoreReggie Jackson Career High 23 Points/5 Assists (4/17/2013)
Thunder: Reggie Jackson. Brings scoring off the bench and is perhaps even more inclined to shoot than Westbrick. Spurs: Gary Neal. Ever since being visited by the spirit of Stephen Jackson, is motivated to shoot a lot and bring Duncan his fifth ring. Nuggets: Evan Fournier. Always brings the flakiest croissants. Clippers: Grant Hill. Never…
Read MoreQuincy Pondexter 17 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (4/7/2013)
I don’t have anything to say about Quincy Pondexter. So I used my connections and scored some interviews with his Memphis teammates. I told them, “tell me about Quincy Pondexter.” Austin Daye: “Man, Q works so hard for us each day, he’s such a hard worker, he always gives 100% man.” Zach Randolph: “I don’t…
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