For easy reference, I have compiled this list of Indiana Pacers players and their fruit counterparts. Paul George: overripe banana George Hill: moldy apple Ian Mahinmi: overripe banana C.J. Miles: overripe banana Myles Turner: pineapple Lavoy Allen: overripe banana Shayne Whittington: peach Solomon Hill: overripe banana Glenn Robinson III: overripe banana Joe Young: overripe banana…
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Myles Turner 31 Points Full Highlights (1/22/2016)
Was the 2015 draft absolutely the sickest in terms of big man talent or what? Over the last three games Myles Turner has looked like a total stud sandwich with a mondo side helping of stud french fries, but he’s not the only big dude who’s storming the NBA like Vikings storming Anglia in the…
Read MoreEmmanuel Mudiay 14 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/21/2016)
You might think, considering the circumstances surrounding Emmanuel Mudiay (namely, that he sucks), that I would write in this description box a whole bunch of negative stuff about him and make him feel sad. Nothing could be further from the truth! I have compiled a list of positive aspects about him, so that he doesn’t…
Read MoreJ.J. Redick Career High 40 Points/9 Threes Full Highlights (1/18/2016)
Hey, a career-high for J.J. Redick! That’s really cool. Except for, you know, how it doesn’t even count. “B-b-but DTB of course it counts, the o-o-official box score says 40!” you wail disbelievingly at your computer screen or phone. “W-w-w-what standing do you have to challenge official NBA s-s-s-statkeeping?” But in your heart you know…
Read MoreJerian Grant 16 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (1/12/2016)
Things that New Yorkers are deluded about: -How good their pizza is (floppy triangles are unacceptable) -That anyone wants to visit their overcrowded hellhole (they most certainly do not) -That their cost of living is reasonable (I can buy a house in Boise for the amount they pay monthly for 200 square feet) -How good…
Read MoreTyreke Evans 26 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (1/10/2016)
It’s blowing my mind that the Pelicans are as bad as they are. I feel really dumb right now for pegging them as a dark horse candidate for the WCF or maybe even the Finals themselves. Since somebody must apportion the blame for their suckitude, I have appointed myself official blame apportioner. I unsheathe my…
Read MoreMason Plumlee 19 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/6/2016)
As the Blazers commentators could not stop telling us, this is Mason Plumlee’s third good game against the Clippers this season. What would cause the Plummer to direct all of his energy towards dominating this specific team while exerting normal amounts of energy against every other team? -Clippers promised to draft him with the 25th…
Read MoreJeff Withey 12 Points/4 Blocks Full Highlights (1/2/2016)
Is Gordon Hayward even the most attractive player on his own team anymore? He might not be, because newcomer Jeff Withey is in the house and boy are his eyes blue. But Withey is not going to just dance unimpeded to the title of “most attractive Jazzman.” There are a lot obstacles in his way:…
Read MoreNerlens Noel 20 Points/7 Dunks Full Highlights (12/30/2015)
Ish Smith and Nerlens Noel: best chemistry in the NBA? Let’s look at the facts: -Nerlens has scored fourteen, eighteen, and now twenty in the three games Ish has been on the 76ers this year -So many lobs -SO MANY LOBS -The 76ers gave away their most prized asset (second round picks) just to reunite…
Read MoreMike Scott 18 Points Full Highlights (12/26/2015)
It’s unfortunate that Mike Scott’s bountiful offensive talents can never be unleashed while Paul Millsap is on the same team as him. Basically, Paul Millsap is just an older and better version of Mike Scott except Mike Scott can’t rebound. Whenever Scott gets minutes, he produces. There just aren’t any minutes in Atlanta for him….
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