The last component the Heat needed to secure a guaranteed 10 chips in a row was some better bench play. They still didn’t have a guy who would come off the bench and chuck like a maniac for a few minutes. They have that guy now, and let me tell you, Michael Beasley is chucking…
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Mario Chalmers 20 Points Full Highlights (6/18/2013)
“Daddy, how come we don’t have running water?” “I’ve told you a million times, Mario, the Alaskan government doesn’t have the resources to adequately provide for the people who reside in its frozen wastelands. You want a hot shower, you take the 10 day sled ride into town like everybody else.” “But dad, there’s…” “Enough….
Read MoreRay Allen 21 Points Full Highlights (6/16/2013)
Official Basketball Films Power Rankings: 1. Space Jam – This is an obvious one. EVERYBODY GET UP ITS TIME TO SLAM NOW WE GOT A REAL JAM GOING DOWN WELCOME TO THE SPACE JAM. 2. Semi-pro – Surprisingly good considering it had Will Farrell in it. 3. White Men Can’t Jump – That chick was…
Read MoreMike Miller 15 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (6/11/2013)
You want to hear something crazy? Mike Miller was once Rookie of the Year. Averaging 11 points and 4 rebounds. He was a product of the notorious 2000 draft, where every player was a bust. Kenyon Martin at #1 turned out okay, but he was still sort of a bust. The next players were Stromile…
Read MoreUdonis Haslem 16 Points Full Highlights (5/30/2013)
The Heat are screwed. Yeah, they beat the Pacers by 11 points. Pretty good, right? It is, until you realize that Udonis Haslem scored 16 points, which is more than the margin of victory. If Haslem scores his usual 2 points, the Heat lose again, and suddenly their glowing championship dreams start turning into nightmares…
Read MoreNorris Cole 18 Points Full Highlights (5/8/2013)
More NBA players should have semi-unique hairstyles like Norris Cole and his flattop. I get tired of seeing the same shaved look all the time. Think about how cool someone like LeBron would look with ass-length dreads. Or Wade with a big poofy afro. Or Bosh with a Beatles-style bowl cut. They’d still call them…
Read MoreJuwan Howard 12 Points Full Highlights (4/17/2013)
Juwan Howard has been in the league 19 years. 19 YEARS. HOLY CRAP. There are players in the NBA who have been alive for less time than Juwan has been in the NBA. Does that cook your noodle or what? Anyway, he’s pretty useless nowadays, but considering his advanced age, it’s a minor miracle that…
Read MoreMike Miller 21 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (4/17/2013)
Mike “Oh god my back” Miller is making a case for getting minutes in the playoffs with his excellent last few games. Of course, nothing will ever match the intensity of the reign of terror he brought against the Thunder in the last game of the finals, but a few threes here and there would…
Read MoreShane Battier 15 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (4/10/2013)
Every time someone on the Heat makes a three you can expect to hear the same thing: “Kaboom” Screw you Eric Reid, the point of a catchphrase is that it doesn’t get overused. You have to save it for a particularly deep or clutch three. You can’t just say it every single time.
Read MoreChris Bosh 28 Points Full Highlights (2/3/2013)
Chris Bosh is a pretty weird dude. So I’m coming back from the store, I just needed to pick up milk and some Totino’s pizza rolls (damn those things are good). I’m walking back down to my place and I see Chris Bosh just standing there on the other side of the street. He has…
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