I am so tired of watching Zaza Pachulia. Sometimes he makes a fancy pass that you wouldn’t expect from a center, but that’s the only good thing he ever does. I’m pretty sure his vertical is worse than Joel Przybilla’s would be right now if you were to test him. He has no touch at…
Read MoreTag: Milwaukee Bucks
Giannis Antetokounmpo 16 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (12/29/2014)
Time seemed to flow differently in this place. The alien landscape, while initially captivating due to its grotesque novelty, was easy to ignore; the cloudy, violet sky and brown, rocky ground did not vary. There was nothing that could be construed as a threat or even an object of interest. Giannis found his focus turned…
Read MoreKhris Middleton 21 Points Full Highlights (12/27/2014)
Khris “Kate” Middleton is still one of my favorite Bucks players. He is an excellent shooter who doesn’t try to do things that he’s incapable of doing. He’s not getting as many minutes as last year, because we’re trying to artificially lower his value so we can pay him less next year, but he’s a…
Read MoreJohnny O’Bryant 12 Points Full Highlights (12/26/2014)
I was content to hold off on assigning Johnny O’Bryant a nickname until he established himself in the league. I was thinking that would be a year or two. However, things have progressed rapidly for O’Bryant, and he has now started several games in a row for the Bucks. The time is now to christen…
Read MoreJared Dudley 24 Points/1 Dunk Full Highlights (12/26/2014)
More apologies are in order. A week ago, I made a Jared Dudley highlight video wherein he scored 19 points. This seemed like a perfectly reasonable thing to do at the time. I know now that I have grievously wasted many people’s times with that video. Why would you watch Dudders score 19 when you…
Read MoreBrandon Knight 34 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/23/2014)
Illuminated only by the glowing light of his laptop screen, Brandon Knight carefully scrolled through her Facebook photos, one by one. The friend request with Bucks cheerleader Kyra had been consummated not ten minutes prior, and now he had access to all of her bikini photos. Hundreds of them, perhaps thousands. There had even been…
Read MoreGiannis Antetokounmpo 18 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (12/20/2014)
He was being sucked through a vortex of some sort. Swirling blues and reds flew by at an incredible rate of speed, and Giannis found it hard to keep his eyes open. Next to him, he could see the cloaked being that had opened this accursed portal; despite the high speeds, its cloak stayed still…
Read MoreGiannis Antetokounmpo 11 Points Full Highlights (12/18/2014)
How long until the NBA starts calling Giannis Antetokounmpo for a carry every time he dribbles the ball? It’s easy to drive by people if you have that advantage (Allen Iverson says hello). One day the league is gonna be like “Hey refs we got a new point of emphasis for you so uh you…
Read MoreJared Dudley 19 Points Full Highlights (12/18/2014)
Last year I wrote this line in reference to Jared Dudley’s jumpshooting: “He hasn’t been altogether successful at hitting them, considering how open he’s been, but that’s okay”. It is no longer okay, now that he’s on the team geographically proximate to me. This guy rarely shoots contested shots, and his teammates do a good…
Read MoreJerryd Bayless 17 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/18/2014)
If identifying NBA players was a requirement for becoming an NBA commentator, the Kings commentators just lost their jobs. “Jared Dudley”? Really? I know that Jerryd and Jared have the same bald head and the same headband, but one is a tubby veteran who mostly shoots threes and the other is…a tubby veteran who mostly…
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