Zaza Pachulia 15 Points Full Highlights (12/29/2014)

I am so tired of watching Zaza Pachulia. Sometimes he makes a fancy pass that you wouldn’t expect from a center, but that’s the only good thing he ever does. I’m pretty sure his vertical is worse than Joel Przybilla’s would be right now if you were to test him. He has no touch at all on his stilted post moves. He sometimes flashes the ability to can jumpers, but he doesn’t get enough arc on shot so everything he puts up looks ugly AF.

The thing that most bothers me about Zaza is his shoulder acne. I mean, I have some shouldercne too, but I’m not the one running around on TV in a sleeveless jersey all the time. Amar’e popularized red wine baths, but I think Zaza needs an Accutane bath. It’s like he grafted Marcus Smart’s cheek skin onto his arms. Every time I see those pale flabby arms with the red pustules all over them, I want to barf. Imagine what it would be like to defend him. Your arms probably get all greasy just touching all those zits.

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