Minnesota Timberwolves – Page 30

Zach LaVine 21 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2016)

Here I am, just sitting around, thinking Zach LaVine has turned the corner on his career, and he turns right back around and starts sucking huge man dick. Burdened by the amount of wiener crammed into every crevice of his mouth, he has been averaging THREE points per game over the last 7. THREE. I…

Andrew Wiggins 21 Points Full Highlights (1/10/2016)

Just as Andrew Wiggins had drifted off into an uneasy sleep, Brad, the basketball camp counsellor, barged into the room and flipped the lightswitch. “Were you guys smoking weed in here? You were, weren’t you? Don’t lie to me! I can smell the marijuana, I can smell it very clearly! Answer me!” Andrew’s brain, still…

Shabazz Muhammad 22 Points Full Highlights (1/8/2016)

Count me among those who thought that Shabazz Muhammad was going to be a bust when he came into the league with only one move, a lefty hook from ten feet. This was after he didn’t even win the NCAA tournament while at UCLA and after he had like ten hookers in his room at…

Karl-Anthony Towns 22 Points Full Highlights (1/8/2016)

Now these are what I call highlights! Eleven buckets in a row, no replays, no free throws, no assists, no blocks, no steals, no intros, no outros, nothing except frickin’ BUCKETS. Hell yeah! This is the essence of highlights in their purest ideal. Those other things are just filler, distracting from the true point of…

Shabazz Muhammad 20 Points Full Highlights (1/4/2016)

The snow fell outside the window of the high-rise apartment. A dismal gray sky dulled the colors of the world. Shabazz Muhammad stared at these things and felt the loneliness grip his heart. He glanced over at his iPhone, wondering if he should call…no. He should not, could not be a dealer in false hope….

Andrew Wiggins 21 Points Full Highlights (12/31/2015)

Andrew stared, mouth agape, at the bag of marijuana in Dooby’s hand. After a few seconds, he remembered that he was supposed to project the image of a cool, street-smart basketball player, not a sheltered suburban preteen. “Cool. It’s always cool with me to smoke some weed, you know. Yeah. Let’s smoke it.” Dooby laughed….

Karl-Anthony Towns 25 Points Full Highlights (12/30/2015)

In an effort to reach more viewers, I’m going to make a concerted effort in this description to offend as few people as possible. It’s going to be tough, but I think I can do it. Let’s start with a nice, inoffensive statement. Karl-Anthony Towns is a good basketball player. Nope! Some people think instead…

Karl-Anthony Towns 24 Points Full Highlights (12/26/2015)

“Do you maybe want to open the present I got for you, Karl?” Karl-Anthony Towns stared dourly at the carefully-wrapped gift that a widely grinning Ricky Rubio held in his hands. He considered his words carefully before responding. “Before we get too hasty with the gift unwrapping, I need to just make sure of one…

Zach LaVine 17 Points Full Highlights (12/21/2015)

We have officially seen it all from Zach LaVine. We’ve seen him get hot from the perimeter before. We’ve seen him dunk it before. We’ve seen him pass it before. But have we seen him drive from the perimeter to finish before? Yeah, we have. But not in such a concentrated way as displayed in…

Gorgui Dieng 20 Points Full Highlights (12/20/2015)

Karl-Anthony Towns tentatively approached Gorgui Dieng, who was sitting at his locker, listening to a leak of Kanye’s upcoming album to get himself ready for the game. Karl motioned for Gorgui to take out his earbuds, which he did. He then looked blankly at the rookie, slightly annoyed at the interruption. “Uh, Gorgui, I was…