There is only one way to resolve the spacing problems that come with Nerlens Noel and Jahlil Okafor being on the court at the same time: turn Okafor into a three-point bombing stretch-four in the mold of Ryan Anderson. It has to be Okafor. Noel is a lost cause when it comes to scoring from…
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Nerlens Noel 20 Points/7 Dunks Full Highlights (12/30/2015)
Ish Smith and Nerlens Noel: best chemistry in the NBA? Let’s look at the facts: -Nerlens has scored fourteen, eighteen, and now twenty in the three games Ish has been on the 76ers this year -So many lobs -SO MANY LOBS -The 76ers gave away their most prized asset (second round picks) just to reunite…
Read MoreNerlens Noel 18 Points Full Highlights (11/6/2015)
Nerlens Noel stood outside the bedroom. Inside, his lover was awaiting. He thought about all the advice that Luc Richard Mbah a Moute had given him, tried to recall it to the forefront of his mind, now, when he needed it the most. “Where are you, Luc?” Nerlens whispered in the dimmed hallway. But his…
Read MoreNerlens Noel All 118 Dunks Full Highlights (2014-2015 Season Dunkilation)
“Bae, I thought you knew what you were doing!” whined Nerlens Noel’s girlfriend, Moniqua, who was lying naked next to a similarly-naked and similarly-frustrated Nerlens. “So did I,” he mumbled through gritted teeth. “But girls don’t come with instructions.” Moniqua sighed. “I told you bae, it goes down there right between my legs.” Nerlens ignored…
Read MoreNerlens Noel Career High 30 Points Full Highlights (3/27/2015)
Nerlens Noel awkwardly shuffled to the other end of the locker room, hiding his hands behind his back. “Hey, Luc, some of the other guys said you give real good advice.” Luc Richard Mbah a Moute looked up from his phone, which was displaying the latest Cameroonian news. Grinning, he answered, “I just want to…
Read MoreNerlens Noel Career High 23 Points Full Highlights (3/20/2015)
Nerlens Noel is making a run at the Rookie of the Year award, according to absolutely unbiased sources in Philly. I’m not buying it. Not because he isn’t a good player, or because he isn’t one of the best rookies. It’s just that everyone knows that ROY is an award for whoever scores the most…
Read MoreNerlens Noel 18 Points Full Highlights (3/16/2015)
There’s a new Star Wars movie coming out, apparently. Like they haven’t finished crapping on the legacy of the first trilogy, am I right? I bring it up because they definitely should have found a role for Nerlens Noel to play. With all the great NBA players dabbling in acting, I feel that Nerlens, with…
Read MoreNerlens Noel 17 Points Full Highlights (3/14/2015)
OFFICIAL NBA FLATTOPS POWER RANKINGS 1. Iman Shumpert 2. Nerlens Noel 3. Norris Cole [POWER GAP] 480. Furkan Aldemir
Read MoreNerlens Noel 17 Points/5 Dunks Full Highlights (3/2/2015)
Nerlens “Knurly” Noel has been as advertised in his rookie season. He dunks. He blocks. He jumps around like he’s made out of pogo sticks. This is good. It reinforces confidence in the ability of NBA teams to scout draft prospects. If he came in and performed sick crossovers leading to three pointers while playing…
Read MoreNerlens Noel 12 Points/9 Blocks Full Highlights (2/20/2015)
The circular room is dimly light by candles adorning the walls. Enthroned on the raised dais in the center of the hall is a dark man adorned in brilliant red robes. Around him, kneeling in reverence, are various black-cloaked figures, gazing at their soon-to-be leader. From the main entrance comes a man. He, too, is…
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