Kyle O’Quinn was enjoying his typical McDonald’s order – five Big Macs and five things of fries – when he was interrupted by a commotion in the booth next to him. “Mom, look, it’s Santa!” yelled an excited little girl, pointing eagerly at the large beard that Kyle wore on his face. Then, her face…
Read MoreTag: Orlando Magic
Nikola Vucevic 24 Points/23 Rebounds Full Highlights (3/28/2014)
You are now aware that the Magic commentator sounds like he’s saying Vuce-Bitch every time he says Nikola Vucevic’s last name. You will not be able to unhear this. Enjoy watching him for the rest of your life thinking about what a bitch he is. For opposing centers to handle, maybe. This is his 6th…
Read MoreTobias Harris 25 Points Full Highlights (3/25/2015)
What was once one of the most heralded drafts of all time has turned into a whole bunch of question marks. This isn’t good news for the teams at the bottom of the standings and top of the draft, like the Magic. There used to be a bunch of sure-fire prospects. Now there’s nothing but…
Read MoreKyle O’Quinn 14 Points Full Highlights (3/23/2014)
Blearily opening his eyes, a six-year-old Kyle O’Quinn squinted at the bright sunlight shining in his face, wishing he could go back to sleep. Then, he remembered the significance of this morning, and all traces of fatigue vanished from his body. He hopped out of bed and, not bothering to change out of his bright-green…
Read MoreTobias Harris 23 Points Full Highlights (3/19/2014)
I’m excited. Not because Tobias Harris just scored 23 points, though that is reasonably exciting occurrence. But because I have now received actual visual evidence of Dewayne Dedmon’s existence in the NBA. And man, let me tell you, he looks damn good. Dunks it every time he touches the ball. I can tell you guys…
Read MoreTobias Harris 21 Points Full Highlights (3/14/2014)
The NBA just loves messing with my schedule. So I want to do Tobias Harris highlights. Of course. He’s the best. He’s the beast. I gotta do highlights. So I go to NBA.com to get to the play-by-play and what do I see? The Bucks playing at 11:00! I look at my clock. 11:03! So…
Read MoreTobias Harris 23 Points Full Highlights (3/8/2014)
In the midst of the awful seasons that various teams around the league are having, the Magic’s own awful season has been largely neglected. They’re really bad, but their roster is not made up of bad players. There are tons of teams who would love to have some of the Magic’s stuff, which isn’t the…
Read MoreTobias Harris Career High 31 Points Full Highlights (3/2/2014)
This was it. This was the last real chance for the 76ers to win a game this year. They have now lost 14 in a row. There are a few games against bad teams still remaining on their schedule, but they don’t get to play the Magic or the Bucks again, the only two teams…
Read MoreMaurice Harkless 22 Points Full Highlights (2/25/2014)
The Orlando Magic have been disappointing. At least, I thought they would be better. I’m sure their fans are happy to get a top pick in this stacked draft and are not disappointed at all. But it must be a little concerning for them that none of their young talent has gotten appreciably better from…
Read MoreTobias Harris 28 Points Full Highlights (2/23/2014)
Oh, hey Tobias. Didn’t expect to run into you again. How are things with that new team of yours, now which one was that again…? That’s right, the Magic. Must be nice down there in Orlando. Warm weather. Beautiful Babes. Must be getting a lot of action down there huh? Thought so. Don’t be ridiculous…
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