It’s really good that the 76ers finally got a win. Not just for the fans and the players, put for the commentators as well. Something was off about them this game. A little loopy. The pressure of knowing that they had to win this game or risk losing 30 in a row was maybe a…
Read MoreTag: Philadelphia 76ers
Alexey Shved 19 Points Full Highlights (12/1/2014)
The full force of how bad that 76ers are is hitting me squarely in the noggin. My head is spinning, my limbs feel tingly and I’m sweating like a maniac. I’d better hurry this up, I can barely type… Look at the list of players Alexey assisted tonight: Jakarr Sampson Jerami Grant Hollis Thompson Brandon…
Read MoreK.J. McDaniels 21 Points Full Highlights (11/29/2014)
Pop quiz time (I hope you studied). On this quiz, there’s just one question, so it shouldn’t be too hard unless you’re a moron. Question 1: How Much of a Beast is K.J. McDaniels? a.) Not much of a beast at all b.) He only looks like a beast because everybody else on his team…
Read MoreAlexey Shved 18 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/29/2014)
Alexey Shved sat happily in his downtown Philadelphia apartment. He had eschewed the normal trappings of an NBA player; his residence looked like it was dwelt in by a lonely Russian with an alcohol problem and no money. Only the first part was true, as evidenced by the extremely expensive bottle of vodka he was…
Read MoreHenry Sims 22 Points Full Highlights (11/24/2014)
Does anyone know the address of the 76ers play-by-play guy? He sounded really down tonight after Philly lost again. Like, really down. Super morose. The way he said that Henry Sims was only two points off his career high was unsettling. The “I don’t know if I want to wake up tomorrow” kind of unsettling….
Read MoreRobert Covington 14 Points Full Highlights (11/22/2014)
Man, I can’t believe I get to do Robert Covington highlights. I was just waiting for him to beast out with the Rockets, and it never happened. He was beasting out in the D-League, sure, but it’s not the same. After he got let go by Houston I thought the dream was over, and Covington…
Read MoreNerlens Noel 17 Points Full Highlights (11/22/2014)
The 76ers are going to be hard pressed to win 5 games this year. They had a decent (meaning 10% or so) chance at victory tonight against the horrible Knicks, and they only managed to lose by 8. That’s pretty good, imagine a few extra shots dropping and they’d be celebrating like it’s game 7….
Read MoreAlexey Shved 15 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (11/21/2014)
You know your team’s season has gone down the tubes when your commentators talk about an inferior sport in the middle of game action. During last night’s blowout loss, Mark Zumoff and Malik Rose actually discussed FOOTBALL (not the European kind) during the game. Not during timeouts or breaks. During the actual game. Not just…
Read MoreK.J. McDaniels 17 Points Full Highlights (11/21/2014)
Sam Hinkie smiled as KJ McDaniels walked into his office. “Hey, KJ, good to see you. I am almost done with my work. Please, take a seat.” The rookie looked around warily and the office of his GM. It was furnished as one might expect; a lavish desk with a throne-like chair to sit on,…
Read MoreChris Johnson 16 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (11/9/2014)
I always assumed that Chris Johnson’s full first name was “Christopher”. That’s a fair assumption, right? Wrong. His name is actually spelled “Christapher”. From now on, I’m going to use his full name whenever I have to reference him (which is approximately once every never) so that I don’t cause confusion with either a.) the…
Read More