San Antonio Spurs – Page 32

Aron Baynes 13 Points/1 Three Full Highlights (11/30/2014)

Taking a circuitous route around San Antonio, the bus attempted to corral its first passenger. A sad face could be seen looking out the window before turning away. “Yo, Henry, you said that this was gonna be a smash hit. But we don’t even have a single participant yet!” Henry, the coordinator of the endeavor,…

Aron Baynes 10 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (11/24/2014)

Aron “Baynes Bus” Baynes dunked it twice in this video, but you would hardly know that he did, because the Spurs video crew failed to show a replay of either one. I think their priorities might be a little messed up over there. When an Australian guy dunks it, you know that the Australians are…

Danny Green 21 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (11/22/2014)

Danny “Greenger” Green is pretty much the ultimate role-player. He’s getting paid just four million bucks (“just”), a small amount for an elite floor-spacer. Any team would want him. I want him. Not just for the Bucks, I want him to live with me and he can teach me how to shoot threes. We could…

Mirza Teletovic 22 Points Full Highlights (11/22/2014)

The Nets are broken again. Only one offseason removed from advancing to the second round of the playoffs, they look like the same old Nets as before. I blame, in descending order: Jason Kidd, Brook Lopez, Deron Williams, and Jerome Jordan. Notice the absence of Mirza Teletovic in that list. That’s because he’s been pretty…

Matt Bonner 18 Points Full Highlights (11/17/2014)

Matt Bonner has been starting a bunch of games for the Spurs in the absence of Tiago Splitter. Let me repeat: Matt Bonner is STARTING for the DEFENDING CHAMPION San Antonio Spurs. Take a look at the thumbnail. Your reaction should be mirroring his. Nothing against the Red Mamba, since I’m sure he tries really…

Danny Green 16 Points Full Highlights (11/8/2014)

Danny “Greenger” Green had 13 points in the first quarter, then failed to score again until there were twelve seconds left in the game. If he wanted to call out his teammates and coach in the postgame interviews, I wouldn’t blame him at all. When a guy is on pace to score 50, you leave…

Cory Joseph 18 Points Full Highlights (11/6/2014)

If I were a TNT executive I’d be calling Alan Silver right now and demanding a sincere and groveling apology. I go through all the trouble to choose a nice in-state matchup between two good teams and some fatheaded coach has to go and sit his stars? Viewers want compelling superstars and Shaq making a…

Patty Mills 14 Points/4 Threes Full Highlights (6/12/2014)

“Patty Melt” Mills’ Finals success is one of the great feel-good stories of this year’s season. After years of derision and humiliation, Patty has proved that Austrians can, in fact, do some things right. This is the first step in improving the perception of Austrians in the American public’s collective psyche. The fat little dude…

Danny Green 15 Points/5 Steals Full Highlights (6/10/2014)

I’m not liking this new development. You know what I’m talking about. Danny Green shooting shots inside the arc. Has anybody informed him that the reason he shoots it from out there is because those shots are worth three points? No matter how pretty your floater or layup is, it’s only ever going to be…

Manu Ginobili 18 Points Full Highlights (5/19/2014)

You’d think that, with the amount of money Manu Ginobili makes, he would be able to afford the latest and greatest hair-restoration treatment. I mean, that bald spot haunts both my dreams and my waking hours. If I close my eyes, I do not see blackness; I see a large, empty patch of scalp ringed…