Joe followed behind Elon as they walked to other side of the rocket. The tour group was dispersing, but Donovan, after some uncertainty about where he should go, followed his teammate. “I’m serious, mate, I’m not trained for this,” Joe said. “This is seriously the first I’m finding out about my supposed trip to Mars.”…
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Joe Ingles All 204 Three-Pointers Full Highlights (2017-18 Three-ilation Part I)
Joe Ingles walked through the halls of the SpaceX launch facility with an expression of awe on his face. “How’d you know I wanted to tour this place, mate?” he whispered to his companion, trying to keep his voice low out of respect for the tour guide. Donovan Mitchell shrugged his shoulders. “Well, for starters,…
Read MoreRudy Gobert All 149 Dunks Full Highlights (2017-18 Season Dunkilation)
The rear porch of the estate was quiet, save for the light chirping of birds and the occasional sound of a glass being placed back on an end table. Rudy Gobert, his feet resting on an ottoman, silently pursed his lips as he perused basketball statistics on his phone. Occasionally, he would reach over and…
Read MoreRoyce O’Neale 17 Points Full Highlights (5/8/2018)
It’s cool when teams just pick rando dudes off the top of the scrap heap of undrafted/Europe-bound players and they turn out to be valuable role-players right out of the gate. In case you missed it, Royce “John Salmons 2.0 with defense” O’Neale is one of those guys, and he just led the Jazz in…
Read MoreDonovan Mitchell 24 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (5/8/2018)
And so, the Utah Jazz season comes to an end. It was fun, everybody. I would be more emotional, but I keep thinking about how if the Jazz had kept Nate Wolters things would’ve been different, and that thought makes me upset. Things also would’ve been different if Donovan Mitchell had distributed his scoring more…
Read MoreAlec Burks 22 Points Full Highlights (5/8/2018)
Alec Burks, with these gutsy 22 points in a valiant, if losing, effort, has given the Jazz FO a whole offseason to think about how vital he is to the franchise. If they were thinking about trading him, maybe they’ll keep thinking about it but try and get more for him. If they weren’t thinking…
Read MoreDonovan Mitchell 25 Points Full Highlights (5/6/2018)
Donovan Mitchell is slowing down a little bit, overburdened by the responsibility of being the only dude on the court for the Jazz who can even begin to create his own shot. At least Ricky Rubio could sometimes do things, now, every time I see a Joe Ingles iso, I cry. I love that guy,…
Read MoreRoyce O’Neale 17 Points Full Highlights (5/4/2018)
Royce O’Neale was the high-scorer for the Jazz in game 3, which is pretty nuts for an undrafted rookie who only started four games in the regular season. How did the rest of the Jazz starting lineup fare? Poopy Gobitch: 6-of-8, 12 points (that’s not so bad actually) DoNotROTY Bitchell: 4-of-16, 10 points Woe Dingleberries:…
Read MoreAlec Burks 17 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (5/2/2018)
Alec Burks had a little stretch of games around the start of December that made me think he had re-turned the corner and was back to his old scoring self. Spoiler alert: he wasn’t. Well, he kind of was. For a bit after that, he was doing some things, then Quin Snyder decided that it…
Read MoreJoe Ingles Career High 27 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (5/2/2018)
Gordon Hayward turned a lot of heads by not re-signing with the Utah Jazz, a betrayal of his buddy Joe “Sloppy Joe” “The Trevally from Happy Valley” “Slow-mo Joe” “Jingle Balls” “Jinglin’ Joe” Ingles. But he made his choice, and now their paths have diverged. Looking back at things a year later, can we tell…
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