Otto Porter is slowly becoming the kind of player many thought he could be. Perfect timing, too, just as the Wizards are falling apart around him. John Wall’s jumper is busted, Bradley Beal’s legs are busted, Garrett Temple has never been not busted, Nene is dead, Ryan Hollins, Marcin Gortat is old, and Jared Dudley,…
Read MoreTag: Washington Wizards
Gary Neal 21 Points Full Highlights (12/7/2015)
Since I usually only say negative things about Gary Neal because I grew to hate him during his time with the Bucks (on a deeply personal level, not on just a player-fan relationship level), in this description I will only say good things about Gary Neal. I have even compiled a list of his positive…
Read MoreRamon Sessions 18 Points Full Highlights (12/4/2015)
Lethargy and malaise have overcome me. I know I shouldn’t be disappointed, but my heart ignores my brain like it so often does. It’s well known that Ramon Sessions is not a jumpshooter, and my expectations should have been thereby adjusted, but… This. Video. Is. Nothing. But. Layups. I can’t believe how lame this video…
Read MoreJared Dudley 19 Points Full Highlights (11/27/2015)
“Dear DTB, I know I’m a little bit fat, and I know that you love to make fun of fat NBA players in your descriptions, but could you lay off the fat jokes when you inevitably make a video chronicling my nineteen-point performance? I’m a savvy vet. As a holder of the “savvy vet” title,…
Read MoreGary Neal 23 Points Full Highlights (11/24/2015)
Gary Neal is walking proof that the Spurs don’t magically turn every player they acquire into gold. Gary wasn’t even really that good for San Antonio aside from a few hot playoff games, games that he managed to parlay into a stupid contract with one of the only teams stupid enough to be fooled by…
Read MoreNene 18 Points Full Highlights (11/21/2015)
Nene has always been an “only-scoring” type big man. Nowhere is his playstyle better exemplified than in this video, because all he does is hit nine of ten shots from the floor. Wizards fans have been lamenting the decline of (or perhaps the consistent nonexistence of) his defense, but you don’t get highlight videos made…
Read MoreGarrett Temple Career High 18 Points Full Highlights (11/14/2015)
Garrett “Legends of the Hidden” Temple has surprised me by sticking around in the league as long as he has. He convinced the Wizards to give him a multi-year contract a few years ago, and at this point, it wouldn’t shock me if he convinced them to give him another one once his current contract…
Read MoreKris Humphries 23 Points/5 Threes Full Highlights (11/14/2015)
“Are you really sure about this? Seems kind of in poor taste to me.” Kelly Oubre said, looking doubtfully at the watermelons. Bradley Beal smirked as John Wall, standing next to him, nodded vigorously. “Poor taste? Who cares? We’re gonna really make Kris look like a fool this time, and you’re just the guy to…
Read MoreKelly Oubre 11 Points Full Highlights (11/10/2015)
I don’t even see what’s so good-looking about this guy. This “Kelly Oubre Junior”. Granted, I am a lot more apt to see beauty in female faces, and a lot of supposed handsome dudes look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame to me. I may not be the right dude to talk to about this….
Read MoreOtto Porter Career High 23 Points Full Highlights (11/7/2015)
Attention developers of the current NBA season: Otto Porter is OP, please nerf. Whose idea was it to add such an unbalanced character to the game? A 6’9″ small forward with good athleticism and a sweet shooting stroke? Combined with his potential? He makes so many other players irrelevant, like, why even have some of…
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