Gordon Hayward 27 Points Full Highlights (11/3/2014)

Gordon Hayward sat in front of his computer, growing more and more frustrated as he played.

“Get good? You get good! You’re the noob you damn fruitcake!” he yelled into his headset as he lost another game of League of Legends. “Match me on Starcraft and we’ll see who the real noob is! Oh, and just so you know I just reported you to the admins so have fun getting banned you noob!”

He ripped off his headset and threw it against the wall. Breathing heavily, he reached over and took a large swig of the Four Loko on his desk. He began to mutter to himself under the influence of the potent combination of alcohol and caffeine.

“How can my teammates be so inept when they only have 1 character to control? Oh yeah, because they’re all a bunch of 12-year-old idiots who wouldn’t know a true RTS if it punched them in the nads! Starcraft has hundred of units with more abilities and the in-game economy to worry about! Why do I even play this crappy game?”

Grasping for his Four Loko and finding it now wholly consumed, he reached down to his mini-fridge for another. Opening the fridge revealed only a few ancient cans of Red Bull, forgotten in favor of the newer, more stylish beverage. This only made Gordon angrier.

“MOM, I told you to get more Four Loko when you were at the store! Do you even love me?” he yelled down the stairs. “Oh, and while you’re out I need another headset, these pieces of crap keep breaking!”

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