Dear Marco, I’m sorry I broke into your house and ate all your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Everyone makes mistakes. Also, if you could send me your real crostini recipe that would be great. The one I stole from your house sucks. I think you planted it so that I would not discover the genuine recipe….
Read MoreMonth: May 2013
Carlos Boozer 21 Points Full Highlights (5/10/2013)
Carlos Boozer @MisterCBooz 11 May just cuz my name is carlos dont mean im hispanic smh #smh Carlos Boozer @MisterCBooz 11 May damn @NazrMohammed just went fuckin crazy lol #terrorists #alqaeda Carlos Boozer @MisterCBooz 11 May @carmeloanthony my jumpers taste like honeynut cheerios cuz guess where my hands been #tunatown Carlos Boozer @MisterCBooz 11 May…
Read MoreNorris Cole 18 Points Full Highlights (5/8/2013)
More NBA players should have semi-unique hairstyles like Norris Cole and his flattop. I get tired of seeing the same shaved look all the time. Think about how cool someone like LeBron would look with ass-length dreads. Or Wade with a big poofy afro. Or Bosh with a Beatles-style bowl cut. They’d still call them…
Read MoreIman Shumpert 15 Points Full Highlights (5/7/2013)
“So that’s the game plan for tonight. Does that sound good?” The team looked happily at each one another. But sitting in the corner of the locker room by himself, sulking and draped in a towel, Carmelo Anthony spoke up. “Yeah, I gots a problem. Where’s all the Melo isos? You talkin’ all about ball…
Read MoreDerek Fisher 19 Points Full Highlights (5/7/2013)
“Hello, this is Grand Commissioner Stern.” Scott Brooks closed his eyes, steeling himself for the confrontation to come. “Commissioner, this is operative 26. I fear I have made a grave mistake.” “Continue.” “Our basketball unit recently acquired a new player, a man by the name of Derek Fisher. There is no room for him in…
Read MoreKenyon Martin 12 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (5/5/2013)
Kenyon Martin sucks. One of my enduring memories of him is when he went 3 for 23 in an elimination game against the Spurs in the 2003 (an entire decade ago holy balls) playoffs. Most of those misses were horrible long jumpers. That’s the peril of having someone who can’t really shoot as your go-to…
Read MoreD.J. Augustin 16 Points Full Highlights (5/5/2013)
It’s really weird to think of DJ Augustin as having been a starting point guard. Granted, it was with the Bobcats, but his play with the Pacers hasn’t indicated that he can be any good at all. I know that a lot of Pacers fans (like all 10 of them, oh, burn) were calling for…
Read MoreMarco Belinelli 22 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (5/2/2013)
I love Tom Thibodeau. His rotations are so ridiculous. Marco Belinelli played four minutes in game four of this series, but due to Luol Deng’s “flu-like symptoms” (code term for too much partying), Marco played forty minutes last night. And here’s something crazier: Derrick Rose is totally healthy, but Thibodeau didn’t even play him one…
Read MoreDraymond Green Career High 16 Points/10 Rebounds Full Highlights (5/2/2013)
“911, what is your emergency?” Draymond almost couldn’t hold in his laughter. “Yo lady, we got a fire here at Oracle Arena, send some firemen down here quick!” “Okay sir, could I have your name?” “Yeah, It’s Draymond.” His teammates were gathered around, giggling. “Okay Draymond, before we send a crew down there, tell me…
Read MoreDavid West 24 Points Full Highlights (5/1/2013)
Why don’t you guys like David West? He’s good! He has post moves. Don’t you like post moves? Well you’re gonna learn to like him because DownToBuck has just acquired a cherry picker. And you know what I’m currently doing in it? I’m sitting in it. It’s raised to its highest extent. And I’m not…
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