“Push! Push! You’re almost there! You can do it!” The nurse urged, holding onto the hand of the woman giving birth. “He’s almost out!”
Soon the ordeal was over, and a beautiful black baby child was picked up in the doctor’s arms. “Um…that’s not right.”
In a haze of anti-pain medication, the woman only responded with a fuzzy “Wuh?”
“I’m pretty sure the ultrasound tests indicated that you would be giving birth to a boy, but this child looks like no boy I’ve ever seen.” The doctor handed the bloody, ooze-covered baby to its mother, where she noticed for the first time the oddity of its gender.
“Whoa doc, this baby has the longest dreads of any baby I ever seen!” she exclaimed, holding the child up by the armpits as it cried relentlessly. So you tellin’ me I gave birth to a girl? I guess we’ll just name her Kenneitha.”
A nearby nurse wrote down the name on a clipboard. “Okey-dokey.”
“Wait, wait, wait.” the doctor interjected. “I’m pretty sure they taught us in med school how to distinguish between male and female humans. I’m trying to remember…” He tapped his forehead as if thinking very hard. Suddenly, the answer came to him. “I got it! All we have to do is check to see if it has a willie or not.”
The mother laughed. “I coulda told you that if you’da just asked! This is one ghetto-ass hospital!” She looked closely at the screaming child’s crotch. “Yep. It’s a boy awright. Kenneth will be his name, and with God as my witness, he ain’t nevah cuttin’ off these dreads.”