The final buzzer sounded. The Bucks had thoroughly dismantled the Jazz on the back of Ersan Ilyasova’s 31 points. The Jazz, despite Enes Kanter’s 27 points, looked lifeless and uncaring. Kanter walked over to offer his congratulations. “Hey Ersan, great game tonight! Really representing glorious Turkey well.” “You know Enes, I not really from Turkey….
Read MoreMonth: March 2014
Trevor Booker 15 Points Full Highlights (3/3/2014)
Trevor “Booker T” Booker is certainly the basketball player whose name closest resembles that of a professional wrestler. Other than my habit of calling Ramon Sessions “Razor Ramon”, I can’t even think of any good examples. Probably for the better, since I grew out of watching wrestling when I was thirteen. My knowledge is all…
Read MoreGiannis Antetokounmpo 8 Points/3 Assists Full Highlights (3/3/2014)
You know things are going good when you have a fairly unremarkable game stat-wise and the opposing commentators still go out of there way to fellate you. It’s happened pretty much every game for the Bucks; Giannis has a few highlight plays that make everyone go googly-eyed amidst a bunch of turnovers and bricked jumpers,…
Read MoreAmar’e Stoudemire 22 Points Full Highlights (3/3/2014)
Perhaps Amar’e Stoudemire isn’t as done as we all thought. Maybe he just needs to start and be given the confidence to play his game. Because he looked pretty good tonight, on offense at least. He even had a nice drive and dunk that was reminiscent of his Phoenix days. Except for, you know, the…
Read MoreErsan Ilyasova 31 Points Full Highlights (3/3/2014)
Ersan Ilyasova’s struggles this season have been well-documented, so I won’t go too in-depth about them. I’ll just say that compared to last year, he’s taking way more crappy step-back and sidestep jumpers. He might have made 5 of those in total all year. Until tonight, that is, when he added 2 more of them,…
Read MoreAustin Rivers 19 Points Full Highlights (3/1/2014)
Austin Rivers has elevated himself from “worst rookie PER ever” (5.9 LOL are you serious?) to “bad backup PG, worse than Brian Roberts”. This is an impressive leap for a guy I thought would never have positive win-shares. It’s doubtful that he ever lives up to the hype of his high-school days, but if he…
Read MoreKevin Martin 26 Points Full Highlights (3/1/2014)
The Timberwolves have disappointed yet again. Their fans will claim that injuries are the main culprit. They may be right. But when you start mentioning how long Chase Budinger has been out you sound really desperate. You don’t see me blaming the Bucks’ record on Pachulia’s injury. I can see their point, though, at least…
Read MoreMike Scott 20 Points Full Highlights (3/2/2014)
Lying in wait on the moon’s surface, I am perfectly positioned to intercept prayers sent from earth to God up in the sky. The internet connection really sucks, and it’s a hassle to be artificially hibernated during the brutally warm periods of lunar day, but the benefits of my position vastly outweigh the negatives. And,…
Read MoreKyle Korver 18 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (3/2/2014)
Kyle Korver’s streak of 127 straight games with a made three is pretty great. That’s a lot of hot tamales. But is it the kind of record that anyone will care about once it’s over? No one cared about Dana Barros’ record until it was close to being broken. And when I look back on…
Read MoreDavid West 25 Points Full Highlights (3/2/2014)
David West is the third best player on a contender, yet there is almost no hype around him. Is it because he’s kinda old? Or has an unathletic, below-the-rim game? Maybe his stupid beard is to blame? Whatever the cause, I’ve been trying my hardest to get more people to pay attention to this all-star…
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