Giannis ran. The bratwursts had taken their toll on his body and mind. His shambling gait reflected none of the grace that was normally ever-present in his movements. Every step brought with it new pains of agony. “Bradley Center Bratwurst Barbarity” had entered its second portion, which consisted of participants running around the Bradley Center…
Read MoreMonth: December 2014
James Johnson 19 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2014)
I love it when commentators get salty. This time, the Kings crew is obviously a little miffed that James Johnson had a good game for the Raptors, given that his entire tenure with the Kings was notable only for being entirely ineffective. They marvel at his ability to make threes, as he only made two…
Read MoreDerrick Williams 18 Points/3 Dunks Full Highlights (12/2/2014)
Derrick Williams greeted his teammates at the door. “Thank you guys for coming! There’s nothing better than chilling with all my friends!” A large group of Sacramento Kings players followed him into the house. “So, where’s the party?” Ramon Sessions asked, looking around for other visitors to Derrick’s abode. “Oh, it’s just going to be…
Read MoreKyle O’Quinn 21 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2014)
It seems to me that, during Summer League (or was it preseason, can’t exactly recall), Kyle O’Quinn was showing off his new extended jumper. Flaunting it by shooting the occasional three-pointer. I despaired. Not everyone in the league has to have the long bomb in their arsenal. Kyle would be much better equipped with a…
Read MoreVictor Oladipo 27 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2014)
Ouch. Heartbreaking loss for the Magic, who took one of the best teams in the league down to the wire. Almost isn’t good enough, not this time, and now, thanks to Steph Curry, Victor Oladipo’s great performance this game has been entirely invalidated. 27 points might seem good on paper. But basketball games aren’t played…
Read MoreJeff Green 25 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2014)
I never thought I’d say this, but I kind of would like to hear Tommy Heinsohn commentate again. He may be a total homer and whiner, but his curmudgeonly attitude always has a certain charm. It’s like listening to your half-insane grandpa ramble about the Nazis. He was there, so I guess he’d know, and…
Read MoreGoran Dragic 34 Points Full Highlights (12/2/2014)
Gathered around a whiteboard in the locker room, the Phoenix Suns players reflected on their loss to the Orlando Magic, heads down. Jeff Hornacek was displeased. “That was a disgraceful performance tonight. I’m totally embarrassed and totally ashamed. I’ve never seen such a collection of lazybones in my life. We are not leaving this room…
Read MoreDennis Schröder 15 Points Full Highlights (12/1/2014)
I’m sure Hawks fans are pleased with Dënniß ßchrööder’s performance this season. He looked pretty bad last year, and I figured he was just another Euro bust. Turns out that all he needed to was turn the aggressiveness dial up a little bit. He still isn’t comfortable with NBA threes but he is comfortable taking…
Read MoreKyle Korver 24 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (12/2/2014)
I like it when the Hawks commentator expresses confusion over the fact that Kyle Korver keeps getting left open. For Korver, “open” means “just barely enough time to shoot what would be a crappy three for everyone else”. In reality, opposing teams rarely leave Kyle actually open for any length of time. His gravity on…
Read MoreMatt Bonner 12 Points Full Highlights (12/1/2014)
Here’s some truth nuggets for you. If Tim Duncan “rested” for every game, I would never stop making Matt Bonner and Aron Baynes videos. With those two manning the middle, it’s like a neverending highlight reel of low-athleticism plodders somehow scoring points. The next logical step is to play both of them at the same…
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