Man, some of the assists are just total BS. Not trying to hate on Spencer Dinwiddie here, he played a great game. It’s not his fault the scorekeepers got happy fingers and handed out assists like the Pistons have to hand out tickets to home games. But damn. I’m surprised they didn’t give some to…
Read MoreMonth: February 2015
Bojan Bogdanovic 18 Points/1 Dunk Full Highlights (2/20/2015)
We can no longer ignore it. The rumors, previously dismissed to be slanderous and vengeful, are true. I see it plainly with my own two eyes, like the breaking of a new day. Bojan Bogdanovic, at the tender age of 25, is going bald. His hairline, once pristine, now withers away like fallen autumn leaves…
Read MoreTyler Johnson 14 Points/1 Dunk Full Highlights (2/20/2015)
More Tyler Johnson highlights? Yes please! We are not likely to see a whole lot more of him this year, now that some prima-donna Slovenian wannabe has entered the scene. A better time than any to throw down his first NBA dunk, as the spectre of Goran Dragic grows ever nearer! Tyler supposedly has pretty…
Read MoreNerlens Noel 12 Points/9 Blocks Full Highlights (2/20/2015)
The circular room is dimly light by candles adorning the walls. Enthroned on the raised dais in the center of the hall is a dark man adorned in brilliant red robes. Around him, kneeling in reverence, are various black-cloaked figures, gazing at their soon-to-be leader. From the main entrance comes a man. He, too, is…
Read MoreAndrew Wiggins 20 Points Full Highlights (2/20/2015)
It took a while, but Andrew Wiggins has finally lost his P-Card. It’s a similar concept to the V-Card, except instead of sexual encounters it involves totally postering the crap out of people. We all knew he could do this. How could he not, when he has such freakish athleticism? It was only a matter…
Read MoreShabazz Napier 18 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (2/20/2015)
It seems kind of weird to say this, but we are now able to say the following sentence in reference to Shabazz Napier: “Starting point guard for a playoff team.” Isn’t that wild? I agree. It IS wild! We could perhaps modify the sentence to add “by default”, but let’s not discourage the young fellow….
Read MoreAron Baynes 14 Points Full Highlights (2/19/2015)
Aron Baynes carefully reapplied the Ratt poster to the wall of the bus. “Okay Steve. I think the Baynes Bus is ready to roll again.” Steve, the driver of Aron’s “Baynes Bus”, looked over at the hulking New Zealander. “Man, those posters look gay as hell. Cinderella? Twisted Sister? Winger? What kind of loser would…
Read MoreAnthony Morrow 16 Points Full Highlights (2/19/2015)
I guess it’s time to give out some midseason awards, now that the All-Star break has come and gone. I won’t bore you with most of the winners; there is only one that is pertinent to this video. The winner for the “Most Incessantly Hyped-Up Player” category is: Anthony Morrow! When he’s not freaking out…
Read MoreToney Douglas 15 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (2/11/2015)
Toney “Baloney” Douglas is just the next in a succession of point guards that the Pelicans are trying out for the backup spot. And boy, is it an ugly list: -Russ Smith (literally who?) -Austin Rivers (had to be rescued by his dad because the Celtics were going to send him to the D-League) -Jimmer…
Read MoreJason Smith 25 Points Full Highlights (2/11/2015)
In a previous description I stated that Andrea Bargnani was better than Jason Smith. I would like to issue a retraction for that little nugget of misguided garbage. This Jason Smith dude just put together a game that would give prime Raptors Bargnani a hardon if Bargnani hadn’t already been made impotent by the spermicidal…
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