Looking into Robert Covington’s forehead wrinkles is akin to gazing into the black ocean of the stars, each ridge of his skin a wave of cosmic truth. What insight can we gain? I feel on the cusp of incredible knowledge, locked away inside the wrinkles. Give me strength on this journey to enlightenment.
Read MoreDay: April 8, 2015
Michael Carter-Williams 30 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (4/8/2015)
Someone please get Michael Carter-Williams a good shooting coach over the offseason. Please. I don’t want to be forced to endure his out-of-control heaves for any longer than I already have. He doesn’t have any touch at all on his J. An unintentional banked jumper should happen at most once a year for an NBA…
Read MoreGerald Green 30 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (4/8/2015)
Take notes, Jeff Hornacek. This is what happens when you give Gerald Green minutes. He gets you buckets. If he’s sitting on the bench, barely playing, what does he give you? Nothing. He doesn’t have intangibles, he’s not a veteran presence or anything. He does one thing only: shoots and scores basketballs. It’s a simple…
Read MoreRyan Kelly 17 Points Full Highlights (4/8/2015)
I haven’t been paying much attention to Ryan Kelly this year. That must have been some kind of instinctual self-defense mechanism, because he has been more garbagey than a landfill this season. Anybody who was intently watching his actions on the court would come away from the experience exhausted, disgusted, and questioning the existence of…
Read MoreAndrew Wiggins 29 Points Full Highlights (4/8/2015)
Andrew Wiggins just keeps chugging along. As other, more mercurial, candidates for Rookie of the Year appear for brief moments before returning to the ether, the Wigger soldiers on with his ironman consistency and relatively steady production. Youth is a wonderful thing. He’s being force-fed all the minutes he can possibly handle, and isn’t showing…
Read MoreKenneth Faried 29 Points Full Highlights (4/8/2015)
How much do you think it costs to touch Kenneth Faried’s hair? I’m betting it’s a lot, because of how soft his dreads look, but I don’t actually know. Is there, like, a price guide or something? Is there an NBA-hair-touching expert who I can consult? I asked him on twitter a bunch of times,…
Read MoreAndre Drummond 22 Points/5 Dunks Full Highlights (4/8/2015)
I, for one, don’t even want Andre Drummond to develop a post game. What good are a few crappy jump-hooks per game? He should be focusing all his effort on improving only one area of his game: dunking the basketball. Admittedly, this is a skill he already has a high level of proficiency at. But…
Read MoreJason Richardson 17 Points Full Highlights (4/8/2015)
This Jason Richardson highlight video does not contain any dunks. If that is why you are thinking of watching this, with the idea that you might see some slams, please reconsider. Only disappointment awaits you. However, if you want to see the other side of J-Rich, the three-point chucking side, than this may be the…
Read MoreDwight Buycks 15 Points/1 Ankle-Breaker Full Highlights (4/8/2015)
Attention Dwight Buycks: no need to hold a gun to my temple this time! I’ve got your career-high performance highlights right here, perfectly edited for maximum public exposure. Your old buddy DownToBuck always believed in you. There is nothing wrong with this vid, seriously. No reason at all to break into my place unannounced, wielding…
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