More god damn Ish Smith highlights. I am now one-hundred percent convinced that aliens abducted Ish Smith and Steve Nash, took all the basketball skills out of Nash and put them into Smith, and sent them both back to Earth so that the Pelicans could make the playoffs and Ish could be an All-Star. It’s…
Read MoreDay: November 20, 2015
Marc Gasol Triple Double 16 pts/11 asts/11 rebs Full Highlights (11/20/2015)
Marc Gasol not only looks sort of like a potato, but he was also playing like one to start the season. He endured some rough shooting nights and often would only find solace in eating entire boxes of Bagel Bites, but all the hardship has paid off now that he has finally amassed enough stats…
Read MoreEd Davis 17 Points/15 Rebounds Full Highlights (11/20/2015)
Shilling for McDonalds’ food products is a plague which is overtaking NBA commentary crews nationwide. First it was the Jazz commentators talking about how much they love McFlurries even though a neutral third party would doubtlessly find the consuption of a McFlurry akin to eating a bowl of wallpaper paste. Now it’s the Blazers commentators…
Read MoreKirk Hinrich 17 Points Full Highlights (11/20/2015)
I relax in my office, content for a moment to simply watch the snow fall outside my window and to pet my cat, Japurri Purrker. Nothing can disturb the deep serenity of the winter morning. Nothing but… My phone rings. Japurri, startled by the noise, hops off my lap and trots to his kitty condo….
Read MoreAvery Bradley 21 Points Full Highlights (11/20/2015)
On a night where the Celtics tallied 39 assists, Avery Bradley has exactly zero of them. Now, I understand that the Celtics have two ball-handling PGs in Isaiah Thomas and Marcus Smart, plus a point-forward-type-thing named Evan Turner, but right now I don’t feel like allowing those facts to get in the way of my…
Read MoreGary Harris 20 Points Full Highlights (11/20/2015)
OFFICIAL COMFY THINGS THAT DTB IS CURRENTLY EXPERIENCING POWER RANKINGS 1. It’s snowing outside right now 1.5 The world is covered in pure white snow 2. I have a mug of hot chocolate 3. I just got to watch Gary Harris score a career-high 4. Warm socks adorn my feetsies 5. I’m listening to one…
Read MoreRyan Anderson 30 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (11/20/2015)
The Voodoo Queen’s dying screams finally subsided, and as they did, Ryan felt his mind clear, as if freed from the oppressive presence of a foreign consciousness. That was strange, he thought, because if the Queen had been controlling his thoughts, and he had just killed her… “That was some pretty good aim, dog,” Devonte…
Read MoreJulius Randle 18 Points Full Highlights (11/20/2015)
If you look really closely during the replay of Julius Randle’s dunk, you can see his moobs jiggling a little bit. This is the closest you’re ever going to get to sexual content on this channel. Make the most of this opportunity.
Read MoreNik Stauskas 15 Points Full Highlights (11/20/2015)
Good news everybody! It turns out that we can continue using my carefully crafted “nikname” for Nik Stauskas: “Nik Sucksass”! I was a little hasty in judging the nickname to not be applicable to Nik anymore. That little run of good games that he had got me too excited, thinking that he would become a…
Read MoreD’Angelo Russell 17 Points Full Highlights (11/20/2015)
D’Angelo Russell: biggest bust ever? Lakers fans will have you think so. Don’t listen to them. They’re just mad that they missed out on Karl-Anthony Towns. I’d be mad too. If we’re being honest, our minds unclouded from the scepter of rage, D’Angelo is, objectively, only the fourth or fifth biggest bust ever. Kind of…
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