Omri Casspi 19 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (12/15/2015)

“You ask him,” whispered Darren Collison, shoving an envelope into Ben McLemore’s hands.

Ben handed the envelope back to Darren as if it contained anthrax powdered. “No, you ask him.”

“I said it first.”

“Fine,” Ben snapped, grabbing the envelope and walking over to where Omri Casspi was sitting in front of his locker, perusing his Facebook feed on his phone.

“Yo, Omri. Don’t stab me or nothin’, but the guys pitched in and got a Christmas card for coach,” he said awkwardly. “I know you don’t believe in Christmas, but…” Having run out of words, he simply handed the envelope to his Jewish teammate.

“The Israelis aren’t the ones doing the stabbing. That’s the Palestinians. I wouldn’t stab anybody anyway,” explained Omri, not moving to take the offered card. “So the card actually has the word “Christmas” on it?” he asked, stern expression on his face.

“Yeah. Sorry. It wasn’t my idea,” said Ben, who looked very apologetic. “We can buy another one with a menorah on it or something.”

Omri laughed and held out his hand. “I was just playing. I’m not really an observant Jew anyway. Since I moved to the States I give and receive Christmas presents like everybody else and if somebody accidentally talks about the birth of Jesus in front of me, I just ignore it.”

“Oh. Cool,” Ben said, looking relieved. “We’ll have to get you in on the Secret Santa too. Everybody thought you would get offended so we weren’t going to invite you. But now it turns out you’re not really Jewish so if somebody starts singing Christmas carols you’re not going to flip out and bomb a bus.”

“Again, that was Palestinians,” Omri corrected. “Although their violence towards my people is somewhat understandable given how they are treated by the Israeli state. Our aggressive settlement plan is really undermining the security of the entire region.”

Ben already looked bored by the lesson on Middle-Eastern geopolitics. Yawning, he handed Omri the envelope. “Once you sign it, give it to Rajon. He’s the last one who hasn’t signed it. Remind him not to use any homophobic slurs.”

“Got it.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.