DownToBuck is a man of logic. When confronted with information, he analyzes it with a keen eye and a sharp mind. He is not drawn in by rhetoric or emotional appeals. So it makes sense that he would not have much patience for conspiracy theories. Tonight, though, his steadfast anti-conspiracy position is challenged.
The shorthanded Suns defeated the Hawks tonight, thanks in large part to the play of one Archie Goodwin, a barely-used reserve who hasn’t done much of anything in the NBA to date. An improbable win, but an innocuous one, right?
WRONG.
Take a look at the star player’s name. Archie Goodwin. “Arch-ie Good-win” Let’s break it down.
“Arch”: obviously a reference to Gabriel the archangel. A conspiracy theory is nothing with out some good orthodox Christian symbolism.
“ie”: The letters “I” and “E” stand for Internet Explorer, Microsoft’s famous yet outmoded web browser. Microsoft’s founder, Bill Gates, has the deep pockets to finance any intrigue that he would like.
“Good”: Self explanatory. The way the Suns, defying all odds, played tonight.
“win”: The most damning piece of evidence, almost startling in its blatantness. The Suns were predestined to win this game, because a Bill Gates-funded Atlanta-hating breakaway sect of ultra-orthodox Christians worshiping the archangel Gabriel performed an occult magic rite on Archie Goodwin in order to make him play so well that the Phoenix Suns would somehow unseat the playoff-bound Atlanta Hawks.
Believe it or don’t. The evidence is there, clear as day, for those willing to open their eyes.