Just a few hours ago, I wrote these regretful words: “I’m officially HYPED for Tibor Pleiss. Not hyped enough to do highlights of the 8 points he scored (I have standards, god damn it), but still pretty hyped.” Those words have officially been retracted. I continue to be hyped for Tibor Pleiss, but my hype…
Read MoreDay: January 6, 2016
Mason Plumlee 19 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (1/6/2016)
As the Blazers commentators could not stop telling us, this is Mason Plumlee’s third good game against the Clippers this season. What would cause the Plummer to direct all of his energy towards dominating this specific team while exerting normal amounts of energy against every other team? -Clippers promised to draft him with the 25th…
Read MoreTroy Daniels 13 Points Full Highlights (1/6/2016)
I can’t figure out why Troy Daniels doesn’t get any minutes. He must have some serious defensive deficiencies or something, because on the surface, he is pretty much an Anthony Morrow-level sharpshooter. Remember, this is the dude whose career playoff winshares/48 are above .200. He’s shooting 48% from the splash-zone this year. Either Steve Clifford…
Read MoreRobin Lopez 19 Points Full Highlights (1/6/2016)
Does Fropez always take this long on his post moves? He’ll catch the ball and just stand there for five seconds (weak jab steps/ball fakes optional) before he decides what he wants to do with it. There’s a reason there’s a shot clock, bro. It’s so that you’re decisive with the ball. Not to mention…
Read MoreKyle Anderson 13 Points Full Highlights (1/6/2016)
How is it fair that the Spurs get to have Kyle Anderson? It’s not fair to other teams and it’s not fair to the fans. Diehard Slo-Mo fans like myself never get to see him play because his team is so stacked. And other teams’ GMs have to deal with the fact that the Spurs…
Read MoreMario Chalmers 23 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (1/6/2016)
“Dear Diary, Wow! I can’t believe it’s been two months since that backstabber Pat Riley betrayed me! I’m having way more fun in Memphis than I ever did in stupid Miami, so I guess I should thank that double-crossing snake for trading me. I looked at Beno’s numbers today and he’s been sucking a fat…
Read MoreJonas Valanciunas 22 Points Full Highlights (1/6/2016)
Jonas Valanciunas sat eagerly on his couch, waiting for the match to begin. Snacks and beverages of unbelievable variety were spread on the table before him; he reached over and grabbed a box of Oreos before slamming them into his face five at a time. Arvydas, his cat, stretched up from his spot next to…
Read MoreDevin Booker 17 Points Full Highlights (1/6/2016)
You know, for being the youngest player in the league, Devin Booker isn’t half bad! The Suns must be doing something right after all; Rashad Vaughn, the NBA’s second youngest baller and basically the same type of player as Devin, is sucking balls on the Bucks, who have no offensive gameplan at all. That means,…
Read MoreBoban Marjanovic 13 Points Full Highlights (1/6/2016)
I’m done being excited for Boban Marjanovic. It was fun while it lasted, but it let’s be honest, it always felt a little patronizing. Maybe not for fans of his from Serbia, but for the general NBA fan, yeah, the adoration he has been receiving is totally patronizing. Besides, I’ve got a man-crush on a…
Read MoreJusuf Nurkic 15 Points/5 Blocks Full Highlights (1/6/2016)
Seeing Jusuf Nurkic and Nikola Pekovic playing on the same court at the same time makes me so happy. We’ve been too long without their brand of Eastern European justice. Their methods might be different (Nurkic can jump and is more vocal with his intimidation), but the results are the same: control of the paint….
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