Bang! Bang! Boom! Crash! You launch yourself from your chair to a huddling position underneath your desk. What’s going on? Have ISIS finally come for you? You start making peace with your life. “It’s been a grand time, but all good things must come to an end.” You close your eyes in one final prayer,…
Read MoreDay: January 26, 2016
Derrick Williams 19 Points Full Highlights (1/26/2016)
Derrick Williams AKA “Mr. Bust Man” is actually…gulp…playing pretty decently this year. He’s still totally a tweener with no defined position, and he still can’t really hit threes very well at all, but he’s showing off some of the promise that caused him to get picked second overall. He actually reminds me a little bit…
Read MoreJulius Randle 16 Points Full Highlights (1/26/2016)
I just don’t know if all of Julius Randle’s midrange jumpers are sustainable. Actually, I do know. They aren’t. At least not this year. Randle is shooting well below 25% on shots outside of ten feet this season and is not yet any sort of efficient scorer anywhere outside the paint. Since the Lakers’ season…
Read MoreLangston Galloway 21 Points Full Highlights (1/26/2016)
We haven’t been seeing this a whole lot from Langston Galloway this season, after he was doing it all the time last year. Taking and making the big shots. Carmelo has been hogging them all, basically. As he should, I guess. That doesn’t mean I’m happy about it. Stars hitting big shots is lame. Everybody…
Read MoreSonny Weems 12 Points Full Highlights (1/26/2016)
It is too late. No matter what actions you take, it is too late. I have already made the Sonny Weems highlights. The evidence is right there in front of you. Perhaps, had you acted quicker, you would have been able to stop me from making the Sonny Weems highlights from tonight’s game. But you…
Read MoreAndrea Bargnani 20 Points Full Highlights (1/26/2016)
First the Suns’ commentators, now the Nets’. Is everyone taking crazy pills? I get that the Nets’ season is a trainwreck and that the Brooklyn commentators can’t wait for it to be over, but it seems like they might have been on some mind-altering substances for this game. First, one of them deadpans “It helps…
Read MoreJustise Winslow 13 Points Full Highlights (1/26/2016)
I haven’t heard so much crowing lately from Miami Heat fans about how much of a draft steal Justise Winslow is. It turns out that there is a reason a bunch of teams passed on him: he absolutely cannot score the rock AT ALL. Like, we’re talking about Andre Roberson levels of offensive futility here….
Read MoreMyles Turner 16 Points Full Highlights (1/26/2016)
For easy reference, I have compiled this list of Indiana Pacers players and their fruit counterparts. Paul George: overripe banana George Hill: moldy apple Ian Mahinmi: overripe banana C.J. Miles: overripe banana Myles Turner: pineapple Lavoy Allen: overripe banana Shayne Whittington: peach Solomon Hill: overripe banana Glenn Robinson III: overripe banana Joe Young: overripe banana…
Read MoreArchie Goodwin 26 Points Full Highlights (1/26/2016)
The Suns’ season is over, and the commentators are starting to get a little loopy. This happened last year to the 76ers commentators; the on-court product was not worth talking about, so they talked about other things instead. Like a couple of dudes watching the game at a bar. I can’t decide which was the…
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