Attention pizza purveyors: if you offer pesto as one of your toppings, you should put in big letters next to its location in the list “WARNING: MAY OVERPOWER THE ENTIRE REST OF THE PIZZA WITH ITS BASILINESS”. At my old pizza place (RIP), I liked getting pesto with pepperoni. That’s it. Two toppings, and it was so good. But I tried this new place (which shall remain nameless for now, their name will be revealed in the upcoming lawsuit) and tried the same thing, and it was like a pesto factory smokestack accidentally belched up a whole ass-ton of pesto all over my tastebuds. I couldn’t even taste the pepperoni. I have learned that there are different kinds of pesto, but I shouldn’t even have to think about maybe toppings being radically different between pizza places.
I was reminded of all of this because Myles Turner used to really look like a pineapple, which is an unfairly maligned pizza topping. He doesn’t look as much like a pineapple these days, sadly. Now he just looks like one of those sporty fitness chicks, except black.
He just had his first 20-burger (pizza) of the season, a fact which saddens me greatly. I want him to be good so bad, I’ve been hyped for him since he came into the league, but his jumper isn’t in the same place as it used to be. He’s blocking hella shots which kinda makes up for it (the blocks in this vid are sick), but him with a consistent three-ball was going to lead to a 20ppg season and an All-Star berth this year. But there’s still time! This is a game that can be used as a springboard for greater things. And if it turns out that the Sabonis-Turner pairing just is never going to work, the Pacers shouldn’t hesitate on a trade of Turner. To the Bucks. For Thon Maker.