There is a shameful deficit of dunkage in this video. Steven “The Big Kiwi” Adams, known for his rim-punishing and defender-embarrassing slams, only had one weak little dunk in this entire contest. The rest of this video could be said to contain…shudder..an excess of PUSH-SHOTTAGE. I appreciate that Adams has really developed that push shot…
Read MoreDay: December 4, 2018
Tristan Thompson 19 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2018)
There are a lot of people out there in the world today who know about celebrities and their happenings and their whereabouts, but I’m not one of those people. So when I hear that Tristan Thompson is embroiled in some drama with his girlfriend (or ex-girlfriend? don’t know) Khloe Kardashian, all I can do is…
Read MoreKevon Looney 14 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (12/3/2018)
I thought Kevon “Duront” Looney was still on his rookie contract, but I just checked, and he’s actually on a one-year minimum-salary contract this year. Smart move by the Warriors: play a guy sparingly in his first three seasons and then sign him on a super cheap deal because he hasn’t shown enough to get…
Read MoreDamyean Dotson 17 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2018)
Knicks fans really need to work harder on hyping up Damyean Dotson. They have a second-round sophomore averaging 12 points per game, and I never hear anything about him. Come on, New Yorkians. Do you ever hear Warriors fans shutting up about Jordan Bell? No, they’re crowing endlessly about how they got a steal in…
Read MoreTrae Young 20 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2018)
It’s a good thing that Trae Young can kinda finish around the rim, because otherwise he’d be averaging, by my calculations, approximately 0 points per game. I wanted a puffy-haired version of Stephen Curry, not… whatever we got. So, yeah, the presumably hyped-up Curry-Young matchup was kind of a bust. Young scored a bunch of…
Read MoreJamal Murray 21 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (12/3/2018)
Jamal Murray continues to suffer karmic retribution for that last-second three he took in a won game while trying to get 50. The universe totally pays attention to that stuff, and when it sees you don’t play according to its rules, it alters physics slightly to mess you up. It can do that, why couldn’t…
Read MoreKelly Oubre 21 Points/5 Threes/3 Blocks Full Highlights (12/3/2018)
We take a break from our regularly scheduled “Kelly Oubre hates Klay Thompson” storyline to present a fun fact: the Wizards, widely mocked as one of the worst teams in the league, are on a two-game winning streak! Last time I checked, bad teams don’t go on winning streams because they don’t win games, so…
Read MoreD’Angelo Russell 30 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (12/3/2018)
This video is yet another example of the inordinate power that highlight-compilers wield over the pablum-bloated populace. Watch it. It looks good, right? Real good. D’Angelo Russell did some good stuff, claims this video, and it even goes further and claims that he had a good game. He didn’t. Okay, that’s pushing it. But it…
Read MoreRodions Kurucs 12 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2018)
When I saw that Rodions Kurucs has 12 points, I was excited, but not too excited. That’s a lot of points for him, but not an insane amount. Don’t fall into the same trap I did: this is an exciting video! I’m hyped as heck and, just saying, Kristaps Porzingis never made me feel this…
Read MoreJulius Randle Career High 37 Points Full Highlights (12/3/2018)
Boxscore watchers (and regular game watchers, I guess) all around the league were keyed in to one matchup tonight: Pelicans versus Clippers. Unfolding in front of their eyes was a performance of epic proportions. Julius Randle finished the first half with 26 points, and the question was not if he was going to score 40,…
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