For some reason, God has cursed me with the inability to dunk. He has also cursed me with a skinny frame and noodle arms that don’t have much muscle. There are many other afflictions He has cursed me with, but these are the two that are relevant to the discussion at hand. If we combine…
Read MoreDay: December 22, 2018
Thaddeus Young 21 Points Full Highlights (12/21/2018)
Thaddeus Young stood on the cold street corner, his hoodie pulled tight over his face. The last time he had been here, in this dangerous part of Brooklyn, he had been in search of his next fix. Even now, after being clean all those years, he could still taste the forbidden taste of cheesesteak on…
Read MoreEvan Fournier 24 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (12/21/2018)
The 80 points that the Magic scored against the Bulls represents the fourth-lowest score for a team this season. Here are the scores that were worse: the Jazz scored 68 (LOL[lots of laughs]), the Maic scored 76, and the Bulls scored 77. Now imagine if Fournier had, instead of putting up a nice 24/6 line,…
Read MoreKent Bazemore 22 Points Full Highlights (12/21/2018)
When all is said and done, Kent “Bazed God” Bazemore’s career is likely to be forgotten by all by the most ardent NBA enthusiasts. Only those with an inclination to the obscure and unknown will bother to recall his name or his teams. Even I will forget about him, just like I had forgotten about…
Read MoreBuddy Hield 28 Points Full Highlights (12/21/2018)
The whole ride back from the zoo, Buddy kept giggling happily to himself, thinking about the little goats he had seen there. Since he’s just a 3D-printed plastic figurine, albeit 12-feet-tall, it should have been disconcerting that he was making noise and moving on his own, but I’ve long ago accepted the fact that my…
Read MoreIvica Zubac 16 Points/2 Blocks Full Highlights (12/21/2018)
Laker fans have spent the better part of this season telling everybody how Ivica Zubac had regressed from a playable young big into an unplayable, yet still ambulant, pile of festering human trash. Up until this point, I had no reason to disbelieve them: Zubac is still young and developing, so it would make sense…
Read MoreRicky Rubio 24 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (12/21/2018)
I was going into this description preparing to say something about how when Ricky Rubio has a good game the Jazz usually win, but just take a glance and his game log from this seasons seems to indicate that that is not the case. Dammit! I had a narrative all ready to go, and that…
Read MoreMarvin Williams 24 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (12/21/2018)
Marvin Williams is only 32 years old, how messed up is that? He’s been a low-usage role-players for almost a whole decade now, and if he can continue shooting the three-ball well, he can be a low-usage role-player for another decade. At the very least, him playing 20 seasons is something that can definitely happen…
Read MoreKevin Knox 24 Points Full Highlights (12/21/2018)
Jarrett Jack got waived by the Pelicans before the season started after a reasonably successful season with the Knicks. And with his waivement, the most punchable face in the league departed, never to be seen again. First Corey Maggette, then Matt Barnes, and now Jack, the visages which I most want to smash with my…
Read MoreKyle Korver 18 Points Full Highlights (12/21/2018)
When Kyle Korver was drafted, way back in the year 2003, the Nets, the team who drafted him, immediately traded him for 125,000 dollars cash. They then drove down to their local office supply store and used that cash to buy the fanciest copy machine they could find. Sounds like a lopsided trade, right? Korver…
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