At 45.3%, Joe Harris currently eighth in the NBA in three-point percentage among players who qualify. While 8th in the entire league is pretty good, I honestly expected that percentage to net him a higher spot. For example, last year, that same percentage would have been good for second in the league behind Darren Collison (LOL[lots of laughs]). Now Harris is behind Bojan Bogdanovic, Rudy Gay, Steph Curry, Nemanja Bjelica, Derrick Rose (????), Malcolm Brogdon, and Kyle Korver. If we go back another year to the 2016-17 season, that percentage would put Harris first in the whole league in that stat.
There is only one solution to this. Only one terrible conclusion to draw from this whole unfortunate situation. Joe Harris must, one by one, starting from the bottom and working his way up, “eliminate” all those who oppose him and his rightful reign as best three-point shooter in the league. By what methods he does this eliminating is up to him, but I have a few suggestions:
-Blackmailing coaches in order to reduce minutes and shot attempts
-Surplus Russian military equipment from WWII
-Seducing the players with girls who end up being dudes armed with crowbars
-Creative loosening of rim screws and deflation of game balls in arenas across the country
-Police bribes
-Paying highlight makers millions of dollars in cash up front to undertake some of the trickiest parts of the operation
If things go as planned, Harris should be the best three-point shooter in the league by the time the All-Star break rolls around.