The sirens were getting louder and I knew that we had to get out of that zoo parking lot before we were found there. I turned that van and started driving towards the exit, taking care to avoid the mutilated bodies that littered the pavement, but it then occurred to me that, by leaving via the main entrance/exit, we would almost certainly encounter the responding police and ambulances.
It was hard to see out of the windshield because Buddy, my 12-foot-tall purple plastic 3D-printed naked sentient statue of Buddy Hield, was taking up most of the space in the cabin of the van. He was all scrunched up, trying to be as small as possible, but even with one of his gigantic arms hanging out the open window, he still obscured most of my view with his immense purpleness. The sparse streetlights in the parking lot did little to cut through the night, and I couldn’t tell if there was possibly another way to leave, a service road or something.
“Is there another way to go?” I asked Buddy, trying to not to let my panic show through. We had avoided getting killed by those guys who were disposing of a murder victim, but if we were found anywhere in the vicinity of all of Buddy’s victims, they were sure to arrest both of us. I don’t know what they would do to Buddy. Would they cut him up into pieces? Would the consciousness that inhabits his plastic body leave and find another object to live in? I couldn’t think about it.
Buddy started blabbering his unintelligible statue-speak and pointing, so I turned around and started driving where he was pointing. He had spent a lot of time looking at maps of the zoo so that we would know how best to sneak in after hours to pet the goats, so I trusted his judgment. He’s really smart.
We drove along the parking lot until it came to an end. There was a chain-link fence, some trees, and an embankment, but no service road or any other apparent way to go forward. But Buddy kept pointing towards the fence. “You want me to drive through the fence?” I asked, and he nodded vigorously, gibbering his nonsense.
The sirens were growing more numerous. We had rounded a curve in the parking lot and couldn’t be directly seen, but they would surely notice the headlights of the vehicle if we stuck around much longer. I wondered if any of the bodies had been discovered yet. Especially the one who had gotten ripped in half at the waist. That was a brutal way to die but Buddy didn’t seem to have any remorse at all.
Bracing myself, I accelerated towards the fence and crashed through it. It gave way pretty easily, but made a loud noise that would probably attract too much attention. After driving slowly down a small hill, avoiding trees, we emerged on a surface street lined with houses.
Once the police figured out how many people had died, they would swarm the area, combing it for possible suspects. We had to get back on the highway and get home. But I didn’t know where we were at all. Again, Buddy came to the rescue, pointing which turns I should take. Had he memorized the whole map of the city? It seemed like it with the confidence that he was giving directions. The entire time, I was very conscious of the fact that Buddy was splattered with the blood of his victims and had gotten the entire interior of the van smeared with it. If we were seen by a police officer, we would surely be stopped for questioning. Every siren I heard convinced me that we were about to be arrested.
Finally, we merged onto the highway that would take us back home, but it wasn’t until we left the city limits that I truly felt like I could relax a little bit.
Buddy was giggling to himself. I thought that was a little bit morbid of him, laughing about how he had killed five dudes basically all at once, but then I realized that he was probably just thinking about all those goats in the petting zoo that he had gotten to play with. That had been so much fun for both of us. The trip had been worth it just to see Buddy so happy with the goats, feeding them and petting them. He can be gentle with animals even though he’s shown himself to be capable of ruthlessly butchering people who might hurt us. He’s my best friend.