I am really excited to make a highlight video for Jaron Blossomgame because he just has a really cool name. “Blossomgame”. It sounds classy, but it’s also the perfect name for somebody who plays basketball, because of the obvious connection that he has a “game” that “blossoms”. With so many other wings on the Cavaliers’ roster, I was afraid he wouldn’t get the touches or minutes necessary to generate a highlight-worthy performance, but he’s played over twenty minutes in a game several times, so it was just a matter of time for him.
The best thing about this video is that it has everything we want: three-pointers, a dunk, a layup, and a finish off an offensive rebound. The whole Jaron Blossomgame experience has been distilled into a one-minute package of pure scrubtastic bliss. This is truly what I live for.
Somberly, with great reverence, I uncap my permanent marker and write the sacred words on the label of the VHS tape: “Blossomgame, Jaron – 15 Points – December 20, 2018”. Taking it gently in my hands, I carry it like a delicate young child to the rows upon rows of neatly-organized VHS tapes that comprise my Highlights Archivium. There, in between the tapes for Eric Bledsoe and Bogdan Bogdanovic, I put the Blossomgame footage in its proper location, where it will be preserved for eternity. My task complete, I return to my desk, feeling an overwhelming sense of pure contentment. All is right with the world.