Would Montrezl “Thunder Bzy” Harrell have averaged 20/10 if he got to play with Chris Paul in Los Angeles instead of DeAndre Jordan? You never know how these hypothetical situations would play out, but I say yes, because Harrell’s already averaging those numbers on a per 36 minute basis, and having CP3 around would just make his life easier than it already is. It would be lobs for days, not to mention the other ways in which Harrell is a better offensive player than Jordan is.
Now that CP3 is permanently a potato, the chances of us ever getting to see the prime CP3/prime Harrell connection are less than zero. But the chances of us getting to see Harrell as the full-time starting center are improving every day as I work out the details of my genius plan to get Marcin Gortat to leave.
I’ve described this plan in detail in a previous video description, but I’ll give you all a brief refresher: using money from GoFundMe, I’ll buy a team in the Polish basketball league and use my position as owner of that team to offer Gortat the largest contract in Polish basketball history. Not being able to turn down the chance to be a national icon in his home country, he’ll cut ties with the Clippers and Harrell will get 35 MPG for the rest of the season.
There’s not a lot of documentation online about the PLK or how team ownership works in that league or how much the teams are even worth. I’m just going to have to run in there with tons of GoFundMe money and if I end up overpaying, so be it. All Wikipedia is telling me is that half the players in that league are named Jarosław, but they don’t even tell me how to pronounce the “l” with a line through it. That won’t matter because I think I know how to pronounce the name of the one player who matters, and that’s Marcin Gortat. It’s either March-een or Martzeen or Marseen. See, Polish is easy.
The PLK is going to love it when a rich American “businessman” comes waltzing through and supplying their rinky-dink little operation with fresh piles of American cash.