My theory that the Wizards are a better team with Tomas Satoransky as the lead guard instead of John Wall is being stretched to the breaking point. There was some truth to it last year, definitely. I firmly stand by my assertion that Satoransky made the team run better than Wall. Call me a Europhile if you want, but I like my point guards big and non-chucky. This year, though, I’m not so sure.
One thing that works in Sato’s favor is that there were no offseason pictures of him looking like a huge fatty, unlike Wall. Satoransky keeps himself in game shape all the time; while he does indeed spend his offseasons carousing with the finest Czech beauties (and they are very fine indeed if my exploratory PornHub searches are anything to go by), he never neglects his training.
Another thing that works in his favor is, you guessed it, the on-off stats. Damn, these things don’t look good for Wall, AT ALL. The team is way worse with him on the court, obviously the fact that he is always playing against starters has something to do with it, but you don’t see other “star” PGs with numbers like this. Satoransky’s on-off numbers are decent, but not amazing or anything. Still, at least he’s not sabotaging his team like Wall is, apparently.
Okay, so maybe my theory is still sound after all. And that’s not even getting into Wall’s contract situation, which is gnarly. DownToBuck’s Official Plan Of Action For The Wizards: Trade Wall to the Suns for Dragan Bender, start Satoransky, then take Bender and turn him into what Jan Vesely was going to be.