It has come out that Kentavious Caldwell-Pope wants to be traded from the Lakers. I don’t know if he’s as gung-ho about his trade request as he used to be, but it looks like he may be acquirable for a team looking for some streaky no-nonsense chucking. So where should he end up?
-Houston Rockets. This one makes a ton of sense; they always need shooting, even of the streaky kind, because as you add more streaky shooters the better the chance becomes that one of them is scorching hot. Pair him with Eric Gordon and Gerald Green, and one of them is guaranteed to be a flamethrower on any given night. So my trade proposal is Brandon Knight and whatever first-round pick they can scrounge up for KCP. If the Lakers want more immediate help than a totally washed Knight, they can ask for, like Chris Paul or something.
-Orlando Magic. I have no idea why the Magic would want KCP, unless it’s to make a horribly misguided playoff push. But let’s say that they did want him. Who would they have to give up? D.J. Augustin? That would be a fun trade of two players who no one on Earth (even their respective mothers) cares about. The view counts on my videos of them would go up by about three each.
-Utah Jazz. The Jazz don’t believe in shooting three-pointers, but I bet they would if they had KCP. Or, KCP would just shoot the three-pointers anyway no matter what Snyder was telling him to do. So let’s say Jae Crowder for KCP for this one. This is good for the Lakers because I’m imagining that Crowder and LeBron James had some sort of chemistry when they were on the Cavaliers together. That, and I bet Crowder is considered a “LeBron Stopper” so it would be good to get him on the same team as LeBron so he couldn’t stop him except in practice.
Did you see that? I went through a whole trade-idea description without including any joky non-player/non-pick items in the trades! I’m so proud of myself.