OFFICIAL LIST OF THINGS I BLAME FOR THE NUGGETS LOSING TO THE SIXERS POWER RANKINGS 1. Nikola Jokic. A triple-double is cool, but a fifty-point quadruple-double with ten steals would have likely resulted in a win. 2. J.J. Redick. 34 points. Why did he decide to go off in the first game of the Butler/Harris/Embiid/Simmons…
Read MoreMonth: February 2019
Marquese Chriss 13 Points Cavaliers Debut Full Highlights (2/8/2019)
Marquese “Marqueso” “Sea Cheese” Chriss was a total afterthought in Houston. He made one three-pointer the entire time he was there. Now, in his first game with the Cavaliers, he hit three three-pointers and also had two dunks. Isn’t that exactly what the Rockets want out of their players? Dunks and threes? A lob target…
Read MoreCollin Sexton 27 Points Full Highlights (2/8/2019)
Collin “Collinoscopy” Sexton has now had two games in a row, meaning that people who had written off his entire career on the basis of a month’s worth of extremely horrific, nearly coma-inducing shooting can come crawling back and admit to all of us that maybe he’ll turn out okay after all. I wasn’t one…
Read MoreLauri Markkanen 31 Points Full Highlights (2/8/2019)
Before you get all mad at me for not including Lauri Markkanen’s eighteen rebounds in the title of this video, let me remind you that eighteen rebounds is not even Markkanen’s highest rebounding total this season. He got nineteen in a game once. So this isn’t even exciting. My heart rate is not elevated at…
Read MoreOtto Porter 18 Points Bulls Debut Full Highlights (2/8/2019)
Bulls without Otto Porter: 1 19-point or more win in 54 attempts. Bulls with Otto Porter: 1 19-point or more win in 1 attempt. It doesn’t take a genius to see the trend here: Otto Porter is the franchise-changer that Chicago desperately needed. Although, in truth, you can change the “Otto Porter” to “Jabari Parker”…
Read MoreBobby Portis 30 Points Wizards Debut Full Highlights (2/8/2019)
Bobby Portis walked towards the locker room after the Wizards’ win over the Cavs. He had been delayed by almost half an hour by joyous fans begging him to sign their stuff, and, wanting to make a good impression on his new fanbase, Bobby had obliged. Now he was arriving to the presumably celebratory locker…
Read MoreKyle Kuzma 25 Points Full Highlights (2/7/2019)
Who even wants Anthony Davis? Not the Lakers, not the Pelicans, nobody. Maybe, MAYBE, the Celtics, but only because they lost to a chemistry-deprived and still-worried-about-getting-traded Lakers squad. AD is the unwanted man in the NBA. Personally, I would only take him on the Bucks if it was a straight swap for Thon Mak… oh…
Read MoreRudy Gay 25 Points Full Highlights (2/7/2019)
Rudy “Better than Fernandez but Worse than Gobert” Gay continues to be, against all odds, a solid scoring option for the Spurs. After getting ragged on by analytics-minded fans (including myself) for the entirety of his decade-plus in the NBA, he’s finally putting up efficienct scoring numbers at the grand old age of 32. And…
Read MoreJusuf Nurkic 22 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (2/7/2019)
When you talk about the Portland Trailblazers, everybody immediately thinks of their two-man guard core of Damian Lillard and C.J. McCollum. It makes sense to consider them the core members of the team given that they score the most points. But what if the two-man core is actually Damian Lillard and Jusuf Nurkic, and McCollum…
Read MoreDaniel Theis 20 Points Full Highlights (2/7/2019)
According to the NBA’s stats, Daniel Theis has the second best net rating in the league. I don’t want to jump to conclusions, but as far as I can tell that means he’s the second-best player in the league, after Stephen Curry, who is first in the category. The rest of the top 10 is…
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