Since Monte “Montains of Madness” Morris and Malik Beasley clearly have the point guard and shooting guard positions well-covered for the Nuggets, now is the time to orchestrate a big-time trade for Anthony Davis and gun for a championship. Am I being facetious right now? I can’t really tell. Here’s my proposed trade: Jamal Murray,…
Read MoreMonth: February 2019
Shelvin Mack 19 Points/9 Assists Full Highlights (2/1/2019)
I don’t know who the target market for this video is. It’s not Grizzlies fans, because they all hate Shelvin Mack because he plays too much and they all wish that they hadn’t waived Andrew Harrison (which is the least of their problems, but whatever). And it’s not general NBA fans, because I would guess…
Read MoreMalik Monk 20 Points Full Highlights (2/1/2019)
I don’t even know exactly what happened at the end of this Hornets-Grizzlies game, some bad stuff involving the refs, but why do Grizzlies fans care? They want to be losing at this point, so is it so bad that the refs blatantly cost them the game? No. It isn’t. Under a utilitarian model of…
Read MoreDamyean Dotson 22 Points Full Highlights (2/1/2019)
Ah yes, the much beloved “intra trade” game, where a team just traded a bunch of players for a bunch of players, but those new players aren’t available yet and the old ones are long gone, so they have to cobble together a rotation out of spare parts and desperation. Prime time for legit scrubs…
Read MoreTorrey Craig Career High 22 Points/5 Dunks Full Highlights (2/1/2019)
Torrey “Aggro-Craig” Craig is now a member of the 20-point club in the NBA, an exclusive club adorned with a multitude of neon lights that is reserved only for the most elite NBA players who can manage to score 20 points or more in a single NBA basketball contest. You know who else is in…
Read MoreKenneth Faried 23 Points Full Highlights (2/1/2019)
With Chris Paul back on the court for the Rockets, we can expect more of this from Kenneth Faried. We were already getting it, somehow, I don’t know how because James Harden isn’t super interested in passing right now, but with CP3, Faried should get tons of free dunks. That’s the best passing PG he’s…
Read MoreNikola Jokic 31 Points/9 Assists Full HIghlights (2/1/2019)
It’s official: for the first time in his career, Nikola Jokic is an All-Star. I’m a little peeved about the dunk contest snub (get it, because he hardly ever dunks even though he’s seven feet tall LMAO!!!!!!), but I’m excited that he’ll get to be the antithesis of All-Star-Game-type basketball during the game itself. I…
Read MoreMalik Beasley Career High 35 Points Full Highlights (2/1/2019)
Malik “Malik in the Palace” Beasley just totally outplayed James Harden in front of thousands of delirious Nuggets fans and even more people sitting at home watching ESPN wondering who the heck he was. The final point total for Harden: 30 points, a ton of flops, and an L. For Beasley: 35 points, no flops…
Read MoreKevin Knox 21 Points Full Highlights (2/1/2019)
DTB is not feeling very well right now. For lunch he had a sus shrimp po’boy and he’s pretty sure that’s why he feels all tingly, lightheaded, and woozy. Shrimp was a bad idea because you know there’s not gonna be decent seafood in Wisconsin. Anyway, the po’boy feels like it wants to make a…
Read MoreJoe Ingles 19 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (2/1/2019)
Here’s a thought experiment for you: is it possibly to like Joe Ingles as a player, but not have that fondness tainted by ironic undertones? I would posit that it is not possible to unironically like Joe Ingles. Due to his physical profile, any positive feelings felt towards him will be biased by his flabby…
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