It has become evident to me that the Serge Ibaka/Fred VanVleet pick and pop is unstoppable. Completely unstoppable. That’s my OFFICIAL DTB DECLARATION. Ibaka is currently shooting an incredible 73% on two-point jumpers longer than sixteen feet, meaning that the Raptors should run this play nonstop until one of two things happens: a.) Ibaka stops making those jumpers or b.) the lead in the game has ballooned to forty points and you have to take Ibaka out of the game.
Since Nick Nurse probably doesn’t take coaching advice from YouTube video descriptions, I have a new method for getting my ingenious tactic into the Raptor’s playbook: I will get Drake to shout instructions at the players while they’re running up and down the court. Raptors players have already shown a willingness to be buddies with Drake. It’s only one step from being buddies with him to taking in-game instructions from him rather than from the coach. And, I mean, who would ignore Drake? If you ignore his playcalls, that’s just begging to never get invited to one of his ultra-elite Toronto parties ever again.
Next step: tweet at Drake nonstop from my burner Twitter accounts until he pays attention to me. That should be easy. He’s paralyzed, so he really has nothing to do in his life except make songs, go to Raptors games, and look at his Twitter.