My Flavors of Favors webseries is a little bit slow to get off the ground, but I’m still committed to making this thing happen. The prospect of millions of dollars of ad revenue is a primary motivator, sure, but I’m also motivated to get these delicious down-home recipes into the hands of my viewership (which, again, will surely number in the millions). I mean, these are damn good recipes. I would be eating Savorific Favorific Jambalaya for pretty much every meal if I only knew how to use any kitchen implement other than a microwave.
It turns out that, in order to film a series of cooking shows, you need two things: a camera of some kind and a black guy to pretend to be Derrick Favors, but the guy has to be able to cook. I took care of the first issue pretty quickly by ordering a used camera online that records video to VHS tapes. To get the footage to my computer, I play the VHS tapes on some old TV hardware I had lying around and record the screen with my phone. I’m pretty sure I’m doing something wrong, but the footage looks all vintage and vaporwave, which I think is a trend these days.
The hard part is getting a black man to cook for this show. There’s a bunch of them at the YMCA but when I tell them about my 75/25 revenue split (I get the 75%), they laugh at me. I’m like, when you’re making millions of dollars and people recognize you on the street, you’re not going to be laughing anymore.
It’s okay though because I have a better idea. I’m gonna sign up for a bunch of cooking classes, not so that I learn how to cook (I’m hopeless when it comes to cooking food), but so I can scope out the other people in the class and hopefully find a black guy who seems competent. Then I can get him to pretend to be Derrick Favors. Or, even better, I might find a class where the instructor is a black guy. Instructors already know how to demonstrate cooking techniques so they’d be perfect for appearing in an online cooking show.
I can’t wait to start raking in the cash on this great idea. Everybody better start packing their bags for their trip to FavorTown.