When I saw that Mikal Bridges made a three-pointer near the end of this game with just a second left on the clock, my first thought was: is that Suns commentator who isn’t Eddie Johnson going to have time to tell us that Bridges is proud to own the three-point zone and that Fulton Homes will donate $100 to Suns charities? Or will he be so caught up in the excitement of the game that he’ll just forget to say the promotional phrase whose compulsory utterance is undoubtedly written into his contract?
SPOILER ALERT: He never ended up saying the phrase for Bridges’ final three-pointer. There was no time to fit it into the flow of the game given that the Suns were frantically trying to foul the player catching the inbound pass. Now I’m wondering, what happens to the non-EJ commentator who forgot to utter the phrase (I just looked him up; it’s Kevin Ray)? Is Ray going to get fined for his infraction? Is he going to get suspended? Is he going to get fired? Is he going to have to simply say the phrase on repeat for the entirety of the next game in lieu of actual commentary? Is he going to get abducted while taking out his trash at night and driven to an under-construction Scottsdale subdivision where Fulton Homes executives strip him, beat him to death with a shovel, and then run over his body with construction equipment until it looks like really smeared roadkill?
I guess we’ll know what happened if Ray is mysteriously replaced by Ann Meyers Drysdale for the next Suns game and all subsequent games?