Thanks to the National Security Administration, I have in my possession detailed logs from every time Jordan Clarkson accessed google.com. After removing extraneous timestamp, connection, and user agent information, I have a 200-page file of all of Clarkson’s search queries in the past month. Here is a chronological sample presented without edit:
-“How to look older”
-“How to add wrinkles to face”
-“When are you supposed to be able to grow a beard”
-“Do women like beards”
-“Jeremy Lin overrated”
-“Jeremy Lin mom pictures”
-“Naked asians”
-“Lakers injury curse”
-“Julius Randle injury video HD”
-“When does Carl’s Jr. stop serving breakfast Los Angeles California”
-“Naked asians”
-“Naked asians videos”