Here I am, just sitting around, thinking Zach LaVine has turned the corner on his career, and he turns right back around and starts sucking huge man dick. Burdened by the amount of wiener crammed into every crevice of his mouth, he has been averaging THREE points per game over the last 7. THREE. I could average that many. As long as they gave me the minutes. I would probably need them.
And given the way Timberwolves fans talk about their coach, Sam Mitchell, he’d probably give them to me. I personally haven’t noticed that he’s a terrible coach, but if a whole fanbase hates him unanimously, then he probably is. I blame him for messing up Zach LaVine. Him and that gigantic wang that follows Zach around wherever he goes, begging to be serviced by Zach’s mouth.