I apologize with utmost sincerity to my Lithuanian friends. I did not make Motiejunas highlights first thing; instead, I shamefully produced videos for other, non-Lithuanian players. I am very sorry. I have brought shame upon my channel, myself, and my family. It’s probably too late, but now you can watch D-Mo scoring 18 points. A…
Read MoreAl Jefferson 28 Points Full Highlights (12/17/2014)
Well, it happened again. I wasn’t watching this game, but I was keeping tabs on it, and when I saw that Big Al had eighteen points in the first quarter, I started entering the hype zone. My friends, you do not want to enter the hype zone without first taking the proper precautions. And you…
Read MoreChandler Parsons 32 Points Full Highlights (12/17/2014)
There are a lot of ways to shoot three pointers. You can push it from in front of your head, you can slingshot it from behind your head. You can use your wrists only, or you can use your arms only. Perhaps a combination of both. You can shoot it to the rafters, or on…
Read MoreGordon Hayward 29 Points/7 Assists Full Highlights (12/17/2014)
Here’s a question for you: can Gordon Hayward be the centerpiece on a championship-caliber team? Trick question! If you even considered for half of a second you have been victimized by my trickery. There is no way, in this universe or in any of the untold alternate universes where dudes have two dicks, that G-Ward…
Read MoreDanny Green 25 Points/7 Threes/5 Blocks Full Highlights (12/17/2014)
What do you call it when Danny comes off the bench? Green energy. What does he have when he’s on the court? A Green light. Where does he go when he wants to relax? The putting Green. What does he take with him on camping trips? The Green lantern. What are the Spurs without him?…
Read MoreShelvin Mack Career High 24 Points/6 Threes Full Highlights (12/17/2014)
Uh. Damn. The Hawks just smashed the Cavs. Hard. Hard smashing was the name of the game tonight. Right in the face. Atlanta must be really good this year or something. Doesn’t make sense at first glance. They don’t have a superstar, or even a sure-fire All-Star. Their biggest name is maybe Al Horford? I’ve…
Read MoreEnes Kanter Career High 29 Points Full Highlights (12/16/2014)
Would you say that Enes Kanter was “bogarting” people tonight? Because that’s what the Jazz announcers seem to think he was doing. Where I come from (Wiscompton), bogarting means hogging the weed. No more, no less. There are no other definitions. You can possibly stretch to mean hogging the Doritos, or some other communal item,…
Read MoreCarl Landry 14 Points Full Highlights (12/16/2014)
Previously I had thought that you needed to accomplish something major before you did a biceps-flexing pose. It turns out I was mistaken! As Carl Landry illustrates, even minor successes can be celebrated in this manner. For example, if you rip away a rebound from somebody, then do a drop-step and elevate six inches off…
Read MoreRasual Butler 23 Points/2 Dunks Full Highlights (12/16/2014)
This is getting re-goddamn-diculous. I don’t even WANT to make Rasual Butler highlights. Nobody cares about this old man. Nobody ever did. But he scored 23 points, and he’s a total scrub, so guess what? I’m making Rasual Butler highlights. And now I’m writing a Rasual Butler description. I guess I’ll just throw some Rasual…
Read MoreMason Plumlee 21 Points Full Highlights (12/16/2014)
Mason Plumlee: worst free throw form in the league? Possibly. There are lot of players with awkward looking forms out there, including such luminaries as Shawn Marion and Chuck Hayes. But Plumlee’s might be the awkwardest. Mason starts it off normally, but once he gets to where he’s going to release it, his left hand…
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