Remember when the Timberwolves completely gave up on Kris Dunn and threw him in as a sweetener on the LaVine+Markkanen/Butler trade? Now the Timberwolves had to ship Butler out of Minnesota in order to keep KAT happy, while the Bulls’ entire young core is basically the three guys they got in return for that trade….
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Ryan Arcidiacono 14 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (3/12/2019)
After Ryan Arcidiacono had back-to-back 22-point games in November, I was playing fast and loose with player comparisons. If I could think of a good point guard from the past three decades, there was a good chance that Arcidiacono was compared favorably to him. In my defense, I was caught up in the exact same…
Read MoreWayne Selden 18 Points Full Highlights (3/10/2019)
Hopefully this doesn’t come across as insensitive in any way, but I don’t understand African American hairstyles so I need a little help here. Basically, my question is this: are Wayne Selden’s dreadlock things intentionally squiggly, or was, that, like, their response to being slept on funny? I need to know. If Selden has those…
Read MoreOtto Porter 23 Points/8 Assists Full Highlights (3/8/2019)
I will admit that I had not seen the music video for Lionel Richie’s “All Night Long” until just now. DTB doesn’t stay up on current pop trends at all, and his only knowledge of yesteryear’s pop comes from Rickrolling and TV commercials. After watching the video (which was just a bunch of people doing…
Read MoreRobin Lopez 20 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (3/5/2019)
Basketball-Reference currently has the Bulls at a 0% chance to make the playoffs this season. But Basketball-Reference doesn’t have eyes. Basketball-Reference can’t see what humans see, and what this particular human is seeing is an improved standard of play from this team. If they don’t resort to outright tanking, it’s possible that they’ll win quite…
Read MoreAntonio Blakeney 17 Points Full Highlights (3/3/2019)
It’s been a long time since Antonio Blakeney did anything of note. The season started with Blakeney getting a solid fifteen to twenty minutes per game, the perfect amount of time for him to occasionally generate a highlight-worthy statline. But his shoot-first, shoot-second, shoot-third, pass-fourth style of play must have worn thin the patience of…
Read MoreLauri Markkanen 31 Points Full Highlights (3/1/2019)
I’m still coming down off the high of Trae Young’s 49-point game, but I’m going to try to write something coherent here for Lauri Markkanen, who had a very good game in his own right, AND got the victory (although, like Porter, he mostly disappeared during the overtime periods except for the fourth and final…
Read MoreOtto Porter 31 Points/7 Threes Full Highlights (3/1/2019)
Stacey King singing a small part of the chorus of Lionel Richie’s 1983 hit “All Night Long” whenever Otto Porter (who doesn’t even look that much like Richie but whatever) does something particularly exciting is one of the best things going on in the NBA right now. But he has to be singing it. If…
Read MoreOtto Porter 20 Points/3 Blocks Full Highlights (2/27/2019)
A very aesthetically pleasing (that’s all you kids care about these days, right? aesthetics?) statline for Otto Porter: 20/6/3/3/3/3/3/3/3. Those last two 3s are turnovers and fouls. The two 3s before that are threes made and free-throws made. Maybe a purist wouldn’t consider those part of a statline, but purists can suck it. They’re the…
Read MoreRobin Lopez 26 Points/1 Three Full Highlights (2/25/2019)
Well, this is unexpected. The Lopez twins just squared off, and Robin (henceforth referred to as Fropez) MADE MORE THREE POINTERS than his brother Brook (henceforth referred to as Blopez). Fropez was 1/1 from deep; Blopez was 0/7. There is a phrase which references the rotation of tables that I think applies here. Not only…
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