After the Cavaliers’ surprise win over the Raptors, led by a 28/5 statline from Collin Sexton that falls into the “actually good statline” category, I have taken the liberty of tabulating a list of people associated with the Raptors and their emotional state right now. kyLe LLLLLory: in shambles Kahi LLLLLLeonard: Plotting with uncLe on…
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Brandon Knight 15 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (3/8/2019)
Let the record show that I was, maybe not a Brandon Knight supporter, but a Brandon Knight tolerator during his time with the Bucks. Did I think he should have been an All-Star that one year? Yeah, I kinda think he should have been, but I wasn’t totally butthurt that he wasn’t. As I said,…
Read MoreCollin Sexton 27 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (3/8/2019)
If there’s a perfect video out there for floater fetishists (I know you’re out there, you depraved hellbound sickos), it’s this one. Okay, so it’s not ALL floaters, but the second half of the video is so loaded up with floaters that you’d think you were at a kids’ pool party. Watching this game after…
Read MoreDavid Nwaba Career High 22 Points Full Highlights (3/6/2019)
This is what I live for. Scrubs whose entire careers are just a singular parade of scrubdom, perhaps broken up by stints in the G-League or in weird countries that end in “-ia”, scoring amounts of points that nobody anticipated. Here, the scrub in question is one David Nwaba, and he scored twenty-two points in…
Read MoreCollin Sexton 22 Points Full Highlights (2/28/2019)
I’m going to try to do something new for this video description: make a valid basketball point that’s not solely based on half-remembered player attributes mixed with some haterisms and some overreliance on statistical metrics that have since been discredited. Are you ready? Here it comes. You sure you ready? Stop reading right now if…
Read MoreCedi Osman 21 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (2/28/2019)
The box-score says that Cedi Osman scored 21 points in this game, and watching this video while tallying up the buckets also results in a total of 21 points, but under DownToBuck’s Revised and Super-Accurate Basketball Scoring Method (DTBRASABSM), he only scored 15. Why, you ask? Because two of his three-pointers should not have gone…
Read MoreCedi Osman 27 Points Full Highlights (2/25/2019)
I feel like Cedi Osman is making a run at trying to be the number one option for the Cavaliers. I figure he might as well, since the Cavaliers aren’t going to be good no matter who their first option is, and he might never get a chance like this again in his career. He…
Read MoreAnte Zizic 18 Points Full Highlights (2/23/2019)
We are witnessing Ante Zizic taking the next step in expanding his game: jumpers. Jumpers are well known as the 8th step to being a good NBA player (the first seven being, in order: breathing, running without falling over, clapping on the bench, crossovers, dribbling, grabbing the ball with both hands, and high-fives), and Zizic…
Read MoreAnte Zizic 15 Points Full Highlights (2/21/2019)
Attention Kevin Love: stop stealing minutes from Ante Zizic. And if you haven’t been stealing minutes from Zizic yet, don’t even think about doing so. Because you’re way too good for the Cavaliers right now, there’s no future for you in Cleveland, and there are young talented bigs like Antetozizpo and Marquese Chriss who need…
Read MoreCedi Osman 19 Points/5 Assists Full Highlights (2/21/2019)
Cedi “Osric Tentacles” Osman has been playing a bit better since his disastrous November and dismal December. He’s still not anywhere near being an adequate replacement for LeBron James (who is recently re-earning his nickname of “NoDefense Suckballs” [or LeBroken-Jumper Flame-Out]), but if you squint really hard, you can kinda see that Osman has turned…
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