Jared Sullinger – DownToBuck

Jared Sullinger 21 Points Full Highlights (2/7/2016)

Jared Sullinger matched up pretty well against DeMarcus Cousins in this game. While Cousins is definitely taller, Sullinger is definitely fatter, so it was an even contest. One could even conjecture that the scale was tippled slightly in favor of Sully, possessing as he does a gigantic rear end with which to bully players who…

Jared Sullinger 18 Points Full Highlights (1/22/2016)

Are you allowed to say “Jesus” as an oath on television? Because Tommy Heinsohn just totally did it (0:49) and I haven’t heard about him getting fired or anything. Mike Gorman tried to cover up the “Jesus” with some play-by-play but you can still totally tell what he’s saying. Rules for TV are different than…

Jared Sullinger 21 Points Full Highlights (4/26/2015)

Thus a strange season for the Boston Celtics ends. Above expectations? I didn’t think they would make the playoffs, honestly I thought this was a tanking year for them. They didn’t get the “lose tons of games while not trying” thing down, but they did pull off the “cycle through endless amounts of players” part…

Jared Sullinger 22 Points/6 Assists Full Highlights (2/3/2015)

Jared Sullinger is in possession of a donk that would make any trashy girl jealous, and probably a fair few non-trashy girls as well. You could transplant it onto a notoriously pancake-assed celebrity like Mila Kunis and she would instantly be the most sought-after actress in the business. I mean, if Jared’s rear end looks…

Jared Sullinger 26 Points Full Highlights (1/25/2015)

The “Make Jared Sullinger shoot threes until he gets good at it” experiment orchestrated by the Celtics’ coaching staff is paying off: Sully is shooting over 30% from three this year! I don’t know what officially qualifies a player for the “stretch four” designation, but he’s got to be pretty close by now. I’ve compared…

Jared Sullinger 27 Points Full Highlights (1/12/2015)

“Now, Jared, I’m sure you know why I called you in for this one-on-one meeting,” said Celtics coach Brad Stevens. Jared sat, confused, across the desk from his coach. “Is it because I’m not getting enough rebounds? I’ll try harder, I promise.” Brad squeezed the bridge of his nose between his fingertips as if attempting…

Jared Sullinger 23 Points Full Highlights (11/28/2014)

The “try to turn Jared Sullinger into a strech-four” experiment is not yet paying dividends for the Celtics. He continues to take lots of threes, and continues to not make a good percentage of them. Can’t blame his coaches for trying. Big men who can shoot threes are valuable; if Sullynyk could get consistent behind…

Jared Sullinger 23 Points Full Highlights (11/19/2014)

Some wise person once said, “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone.” That’s how I feel right now about Tommy Heinsohn. Sure, his dementia-induced rambling gets pretty annoying after the first twenty seconds, but there’s no other way to properly listen to a Celtics broadcast. Scalabrine is okay, but he doesn’t have that…

Jared Sullinger 19 Points Full Highlights (11/14/2014)

So the Celtics are 3-5 despite having the second-highest-scoring offense in the league. The cause is easily found: they have the second-most-porous defense in the league, negating their smoothly-run offense. Moral of the story: Celtics games are fun to watch because everybody scores a lot of points, and points are fun. Another reason to tune…

Jared Sullinger 26 Points Full Highlights (3/26/2014)

Jared Sullinger is a fortunate guy. The Celtics’ coaching staff actually told him to shoot MORE threes this year. I’ve been ragging on him for shooting too many and it turns out it’s not even his fault. Sorry Jared. I guess the idea is that since this is a lost season anyway they should experiment…